


Really

by LavenderMochi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Dark Imagery, Edit: Thank you for 300 Kudos!, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, He's both okay, Hurt/Comfort, I make everyone suffer, M/M, Manipulative Deceit Sanders, Mild Sexual Content, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Thanks Virgil, There's a lot of crying, Trigger Warnings Are Listed In The Chapters, also there's mutual pining, also there's swearing, and Roman Angst, courtesy of Remus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-09-26
Packaged: 2020-07-31 15:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 27
Words: 23,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20117488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderMochi/pseuds/LavenderMochi
Summary: Deceit lied to get his way. And when balancing lies and truths so precariously, Deceit began to unravel.But he wasn't hurting.He was fine.Really.OrDeceit angst where Deceit is overly emotional and almost everyone in this story cries.





	1. His Own Rules

Bitter, that was what the feeling was.

Deceit did not intend to take it to heart, really, but it was frustrating. Appealing to logic, rationality, and morals—all of it had been for nothing. Playing by their rules had failed him more times than he could count on his two hands. And some.

He tried, he really did, to tell them they needed him. But, no, they knew _better_ than to trust a _snake _who only knew how _lie_. Oh, he showed them. Setting Remus free, after years of keeping his existence a secret from the Sides, proved that they needed him more than they thought they did.

And yet, they were as stubborn as ever. The nerve of them, after all he had done for them, to be hesitant to accept him, still. It was expected—they feared what they didn't fully understand and what they didn't _want_ to fully understand. But he knew that once one of them accepted him, the rest would follow. The question was who. After that, the question was how.

Logan would be the easiest to sway, if he was presented with a reasonable enough argument. Unfortunately, it was difficult for Logan to see him eye to eye; Logan's appreciation for rules conflicted with Deceit's disregard for them. Patton would be easy to influence, but what hindered him was his empathy towards others. That wasn't a bad thing, necessarily, but it limited him _far too much_ for Deceit's tastes. And Virgil, well, even if he tried, Virgil would flat out refuse to listen to him.

That left Roman, which was actually Deceit's personal favorite out of all the Sides. Now, Roman wasn't exactly impressionable, but he shared views close to Deceit's own, which, if Deceit played his cards right, made it simple for him to manipulate him. Yes, Deceit certainly loved Roman.

From now on, Deceit was going to play by his own rules.


	2. Part of the Bargain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit speaks to Remus.
> 
> So, naturally, here are some trigger warnings:
> 
> Cannibalism mention, Sexual content, Necrophilia mention, Disturbing imagery, and Gore

"Remus."

The glittery, black-clad Side, who was sitting on the table and had fashioned a table from the chairs, looked up from whatever he was doing and grinned from ear-to-ear once his cold brown eyes met with Deceit's.

"Why, hello there, my dearest Deceit. What a pleasure it is to see you this morning," Remus said with a lewd lick of the lips.

Deceit's lips twitched. "I return the sentiment, Remus."

"So, what brings you out of your room? Usually, you don't seek me out. Have you come to join me for breakfast? Have you come to _be_ my breakfast? Now, _that_ could be fun." Remus said with a disturbing grin.

Deceit put on a fake smile. "_Unfortunately_, I'll have to refuse. I'm here because I need to address serious matters. I need you to tell me everything you know about Roman."

Upon hearing this, Remus frowned, his whole expression darkening to the point that even made Deceit somewhat unsettled. He was used to Remus's antics, however. As long as he denied Remus a reaction, Remus posed no threat.

"Oh. _Roman_." Remus leered. "And what makes you so interested in my mirror self all of the sudden? Wait, I think I know." His toothy grin returned and a lewd look crossed his features. "Are you interested in him, Deceit? Does thinking about him _turn you on_?"

Deceit chuckled through his teeth. "Oh, Remus, how _hilarious_ you are. I'll allow you to imagine what you please. I'm more interested in using him to my advantage."

Remus tilted his head, curious. "Advantage?"

"Yes."

Remus waited for Deceit to continue, but Deceit remained tight-lipped. Remus grinned.

"Refusing to elaborate, I see. That's what I love about you, Deceit. You're so _mysterious,_" Remus said gleefully. "Let me see what comes to mind. Hmm, have you ever thought of necrophilia, Deceit? Imagine it: Roman's cold, lifeless body. Being able to take whatever you want, to your own satisfaction, without repercussion or struggle. I think you'd be into that."

"_Imagine what __you please_, Remus. Just tell me about Roman."

Remus pouted, then turned away with a look of disinterested. "I'd consider helping you, Deceit. Really, I would. But Roman's just so _boring_."

Deceit could feel his blood begin to boil. It was in Remus's nature to be testy, but even so, Deceit couldn't help that feeling of frustration which crept up on him like the moon mid-afternoon.

Deceit didn't like wasting his cards, but Remus forced his hand. After a moment of deliberation, Deceit said calmly, "I'm not asking you to help me for free."

"Oh? And what can you offer me?" Remus asked, "What can you offer me that would make me interested?"

"Depends," Deceit said. On the inside, he felt smug. He had gotten Remus exactly where he wanted. "What interests you?"

"Hm, I have several ideas. I've always wondered what a human pinata would look like. Or kittens as socks. Or kidnapping one of the Sides for about month as my personal toy just to see the reaction." Remus mused, a twisted grin plastered on his face. "Hey, I really like the sound of that last one."

"I respect your creativity, Remus, truly. But it has to stay within the realm of what's possible."

"Well, I don't know about you, but all of those ideas are technically possible in my books."

Deceit held back a groan and instead forced a smile. "True, true."

"Say, what about...Logan?"

Deceit grimaced. "Logan?"

Remus looked pleased with himself, and he said, "That's right. Logan. I must admit, I've been sort of obsessed with him lately. He's just so..._intriguing_. Don't you think?"

Deceit was not surprised. Remus was a simple mind who found a new obsession every week and toyed with it until it got boring. What did surprise Deceit, however, was Remus being interested in _Logan_. If the bar for boring was set at 'Roman,' what made Logan so interesting? Then again, Remus did have a negative bias towards Roman, so it wasn't all that surprising. But still.

"Quite," Deceit said, in a voice that was less than sure.

"Now, the problem is that he's always with Patton..." Remus muttered, "Ohhh, if only I got my hands on Patton. I'd rip his head of with my bare hands, gouge out his eyes and put his skull on a shelf with the rest of my collection." Then, Remus exclaimed, "Ah, I've figured it out. Dearest Deceit, I'll help you, if and only if you distract Patton away from Logan so I can seduce him."

Deceit frowned slightly. He doubted Remus's plan would work on Logan of all people, but he wasn't about to question it, as Remus's proposal was at least something he could work with.

And it wasn't like he needed to _truthfully_ agree to Remus's terms. Once he accomplished his goal in getting the Sides to accept him, it wouldn't matter anyway if he lied. Remus was inconsequential. Another tool to his game.

Putting on a sly smile, Deceit said, "Fine, if that is was pleases you. I expect you to hold up your part of the bargain."

"Oh, Deceit, of course. You know me." Remus giggled. His face suddenly turned stern. "It's _you_ we have to watch out for. Lying, sneaky snake."

_H_ _ow ignorant you are, Remus, _ _already fallen prey to my cause_ _..._

"...Astute thought," Deceit said after a pause. "But do you really believe I'd lie to you, Remus?" Deceit cocked his head to the side.

"It's like jumping into a murky pool with a cinderblock. You never know when you'll reach the bottom. And you'll end up drowning because it's too late to come back up. All you can do is go down, down, down..." Remus said, in a voice that was a tad too cheery. "That's what it feels like to trust you."

"What a vivid metaphor," Deceit said. Clearing his throat, he spoke, "So, go on. Tell me about Roman."

Remus grinned a little. "Roman, Roman, Roman. My dear little mirror self. So many of his ideas waste away and come to me. Such horrible ideas. Demented ideas. Erotic ideas," Remus said, "I trust you're aware of his...insecurities. His true motive being to please the other Sides. Hiding his true feelings as to not look weak. Wanting for once to be truly satisfied with himself."

Deceit gave Remus a lopsided smirk. "Of course."

"Well, I'll tell you simply: he's a slut for praise. He wants to be appreciated so much that even the slightest bit of acknowledgment would make him melt," Remus said. "Ha! He wants to feel pride so desperately, but he's too loyal to humility. He's so submissive. Able to be manipulated with only words of praise. Imagine what you could do with that..."

"Focus, Remus." Deceit snapped before the other Side could go on.

"Easy, there, dearest Deceit. You did ask for my help, did you not?" Remus taunted. "Well, anyway, here's another tidbit you can chew: He's been having these...thoughts lately. And they're pretty funny thoughts, let me tell you."

"About what?"

Remus grinned from ear-to-ear, leaning in closer and whispering, "Lust. Oh, and you'll never guess for who."

"Tell me, then."

Remus giggled like a child. An obscene smile curled on his lips and he said, "Our sweet, darling little Virgil."

Ah, that made sense. Deceit had always, in the back of his mind, speculated this, but Remus's statement confirmed it.

It started a while ago. Deceit caught wind of a lie amongst the Sides and it afflicted Roman like the plague. Usually, when Deceit sensed a lie, it stuck with him for safekeeping until the truth was told, though he could also control whether or not the truth should be told. Roman's lie was his denial about being in love. Deceit found that strange, given Roman was a die-hard, helpless romantic. Stranger yet, the name 'Virgil' was also something that tagged the lie like a persistent fly. So, Deceit had his guesses, but he didn't like starting anything without being sure of himself.

"How interesting," Deceit finally said. "Is that all?"

"No, of course not. Roman has so many more little secrets to prove he's not as innocent as the others are led to believe. It's complex. Layered. But," Remus said, leaning back with a casual shrug, "It's enough. Especially to get him to do what you want." Then, Remus gave Deceit a cold glare, his eyes completely void of his usual mischief. "Don't forget, Deceit. Your part of the bargain."

Deceit felt a shiver run down his spine. Adjusting his cloak, he smiled, reptilian eye gleaming.

"_Of course_."


	3. Hadn't Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit visits Roman, gets more than he expected. Sort of.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Manipulative Deceit and I guess Abusive Deceit could apply as well.

It was a matter of appealing to Roman's need for praise or manipulating him via love interest. The second was rather tricky. Impersonation was an art and if he slipped up even once, Virgil would be all on him. It'd be over. Deceit didn't work this hard for nothing.

It would be wise to test the waters first. If he appeared unpretentious to Roman at first, Roman could quite likely begin to trust him. Roman, being good-natured and far too dense, would completely fall into his trap. Yes, that was the path he was going to take. He just had to make sure not to get caught by the other Sides in the process. At least he could control Roman from telling them.

Without further ado, Deceit sunk out from the comfort of his room and materialized in Roman's room. Immediately, Deceit was hit by a rush of heightened imagination, a feeling which equivocated to riding on a carousel that never ended. It made everything fuzzy and blurred the line between reality and fantasy. And, for a moment, it was hard to think. Come to think of it, it felt almost the same as going into Remus's room, only the aura was significantly different. It was brighter in Roman's room. Happier. Deceit _hated_ it. Really, he did.

For a moment there, Deceit was so lost in his own thought, he didn't even notice Roman, who was standing still by his desk chair. At first, the creative Side was frozen in surprise, but the look in Roman's eyes was a resolute one. Roman took in a breath, his chest puffed in a way that was meant to be slightly intimidating. A pathetic attempt, really. Deceit could sense the emotions really running through Roman's pretty little head. Caution. _Curiosity_.

"_Deceit_," Roman said. There was no waver in his voice, but flashes of unease twitched at his lips. "What are you doing in my room?"

Deceit chuckled. "Roman. I didn't mean to startle you."

"Whatever it is you think you're doing, I warn you, your tricks won't work on me! You'll soon see your villainous plans foiled by the one and only!"

"What villainous plan?"

That seemed to catch Roman off-guard. Roman stumbled for a response, but he had nothing to show for it. Good, this was going exactly the way Deceit hoped it would.

"W-what do you mean? The one you're, uh, doing right now." Roman said, making a strange motion with his hands to Deceit. Eyebrows furrowed, he asked, "You..._are_ here for something, aren't you?"

"Of course. I would be lying if I said I wasn't. But you're quick to assume my plan is a villainous one. Or that I even have a plan to begin with," Deceit said, tutting, "It would seem that the others have gotten you to believe I'm always the bad guy."

"But...you are?"

"Perhaps in the eyes of some," Deceit said through a clenched jaw. At this, Roman looked a little guilty. Good, that meant he was playing the right cards.

"Well, what are you doing here, then?" Roman asked again, but this time his voice was without so much tensity.

"To tell truth, I wanted to personally express my gratitude towards you."

Now he had Roman's full attention. For a moment, Deceit felt giddily smug. Remus was right. One word of appreciation and Roman was all his. Marvelous.

"Oh?"

"Don't think I haven't noticed your hard work, Roman. The others might not have given you much thought, but know that I do."

"That's, uh, very, uh, k-kind of you to, uh, say," Roman said. He was sure Roman was trying his best not to seem flustered. But, again, Deceit could see right through him. And the blush wasn't helping to Roman's advantage, either.

A smile curled on Deceit's lips. "Oh, you know how much I love you, Roman."

"Oh, uh, right," Roman said with a small, shy chuckle.

"Well, I hate leaving so soon, but I wouldn't want to overstay my welcome," Deceit said, "I'll be taking my leave."

"Oh, uh, well, alright."

"It was nice to see you, Roman."

"Yeah, uh...it, uh, it was nice to see you too, I guess."

As Deceit sunk out of Roman's room, there was something he noticed that began to bother him. It was a small thing, really, maybe even pointless, but something he couldn't help but notice nevertheless. Roman hadn't lied to him, not when he had said 'it was nice to see you too.'


	4. Cat and Mouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit thinks, gets intrusive thoughts (literally).
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Animal cruelty, Gore, Auto-cannibalism mention, and Cannibalism mention.

Deceit was used to being unwanted. He was used to being despised, even. Nobody wanted to spend time with a liar and that was something he expected. Deceit didn't mind, though. Really, he didn't. It was _better_ to be outcast. To be alone. It hurt less sometimes.

But he guessed that's why they stuck with him, Roman's words. Roman didn't hate him like the others did. Well, he did, but in a way that was more defensive than spiteful. That was precisely why Deceit chose him the first place, because Roman was the only one who was open to _listening_ to him.

Deceit was back in his room, readying the next step to his plan. It was a delicate process, one that couldn't be rushed. If he bothered Roman too much, it would be clear as day that he was pushing some kind of agenda. He needed to be careful.

Deceit had been toying with an idea recently. What Remus said about Roman taking an interest towards Virgil kept on rattling in his brain, like the glittery Dark Side had put a curse on him to think like so. That was certainly something he could use to his advantage, especially to spy on Roman or the Others without getting caught, granted Virgil wasn't actually present.

"Oh, my dearest Deceit!" a singy-songy voice sung as Remus—Deceit didn't even have to look to know it was him—materialized into his room. "Guess what!"

Deceit spared a glance, one that was quite bitter because he didn't like that Remus was in his space. His room was his sanctuary. Living with Remus, that was something he needed. But, Deceit knew, Remus had never been the one to respect boundaries. In fact, he enjoyed crossing them. Whatever. That was fine.

"What is it, Remus?"

"Ooh, so you know how you saw my dear little mirror self today?" Remus said.

"Yes. What about it?"

"Well, now he's getting these...ideas. Oh, he's so funny," Remus chortled maniacally, wiping away glittery tears of laughter. "He's thinking it's a bad thing to be your friend. He's afraid. So, very afraid. Like you're a cat and he's the mouse. Hey, do you think mice feel fear when you crush them between your fingers? Their little eyes smushing out from their pathetic, tiny little skulls."

"Is that what you came here to tell me, Remus?" Deceit asked, unimpressed, "Or is there something else?"

"Hm, nothing else," Remus said, "Just thought you'd want to know. Anyyyway." Remus leaned forward slightly, a mischievous finger on his chin. "Have you seen Logan today?"

"I only left to see Roman," Deceit said, "So, no."

"Poohie. Then, when are you going to get to Patton? I can't wait so long! You know what happens when you wait too long for something? You get bored! When I get bored, I want to stick my hand into a blender and make a smoothie. Have you ever thought about auto-cannibalism? Or cannibalism in general? What do you think Logan would taste like? I'd imagine he'd taste like books, and candles, and rubber gloves. Or maybe like human. Have _you_ ever tried human flesh before?"

"Alright, alright, fine," Deceit hissed, "That's enough. I'll distract Patton for you. Just get out of my room."

"Yay! Thank you so much, Daddy!" Remus giggled and leaned over to land an unwanted kiss on Deceit's scaly cheek.


	5. Of Course You Will

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit disguises himself as Virgil. He doesn't get jealous in this chapter (coughsarcasmcough).
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Gore, Animal cruelty, Non-consensual kissing, Mild sexual content, and Manipulative Deceit

Capturing the essence of Virgil was an interesting thing to achieve. The Side was constantly putting up a cool facade—to Deceit, it was a wonder how he managed to live in a constant state of equilibrium between outward placidity and hidden hyper-vigilance. Deceit did not envy him much.

Deceit had an advantage when he acted as Virgil. While they were never the closest, Virgil was once the closest thing Deceit had to a friend. Of course, that was until Virgil one day decided he had enough and left. True, he could admit he hadn't treated Virgil the best. Sometimes his manipulative, silver-tongued tendencies simply got the better of him and it was oftentimes _for_ the better. Well, Deceit didn't mind. He definitely didn't feel abandoned. He wasn't hurt. Not at all. Really, he wasn't.

Phasing into another form was easy. It was only a matter of getting the details right. Deceit took great care when he phased into Virgil, fabricating his disguise with the same care it took to fabricate his delicate web of lies. He made sure everything was an exact replica of the real Virgil, from the eyeshadow to the tussled hair, down to the last stitch on his patchwork hoodie.

_Let's get this over with_, Deceit thought.

Putting on a disgruntled face and furrowing his brows, Deceit materialized into the main room where the Sides frequented. And just as he expected, Patton and Logan were present. They were in the kitchen, unaware of Deceit's presence among them.

Judging by his rolled up sleeves and slightly crooked glasses, Logan was working on something and Patton was keeping him company. They were conversing, too, but from his stance in the living room, it was hard for him to catch their words exactly. After observing them for a while, he felt confident enough to approach the two. So, he shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged to the entrance of the kitchen.

As soon as he rounded the corner, he spotted Patton sitting on the counter with a mug in hand and Logan cradling a bowl of cookie batter as he stirred it with a spatula. Once Patton caught sight of him, he smiled a big smile, its warmth not left unnoticed by Deceit. Deceit hated it. He hated that everything about Patton was warm and genuine.

"Hey, there, kiddo!" Patton said cheerily.

"Good afternoon, Virgil," Logan said, and though it was colder than Patton's greeting, there was a subtle gentleness to his tone.

It interested him every single time. How loving and warm the Sides could be. But it wasn't how or why they loved Virgil that fascinated him, but the feeling of being loved in the first place. It was a feeling that never acquainted Deceit often, if at all.

Then again, they weren't loving _him_. They were loving _Virgil_.

"Uh, hey," he said, awkwardly waving to the two. "Am I...interrupting something?"

"Not at all, kiddo! We're just making cookies! I'm teaching Logan how to add the secret ingredient," Patton said with a small wink.

"Though I highly doubt the addition of love through transcendental means will somehow improve the taste of a cookie, I am willing to experiment with Patton's technique," Logan muttered, "But still."

Patton merely grinned at Logan. Then he turned to Deceit, his smile still so warm it hurt. "So, what'chya up to?"

"Uh..." he rubbed the back of his neck. "Can I just...talk to you for a second? Not about anything serious, or whatever. But I just, uh, wanna talk to you, I guess."

Logan shot him a curious glance. It wasn't suspicious, but just the glace made Deceit fidget under his Virgil disguise. Logan had a sharp eye, after all, and Deceit was weary of that.

"Sure thing, kiddo!" Patton hopped off the counter and pecked a small kiss on Logan's cheek. "Be right back."

Logan blushed a deep red, but otherwise said nothing and returned to focusing on the cookie dough. A small wave of relief washed over Deceit as they left Logan's presence in the kitchen and sat on the sofa in the living room.

"Doing okay, Virge?" Patton asked.

"Yeah. I guess so. You know. Same old," Deceit said with a shrug.

"And how's your anxiety over Remus?" Patton asked, concern taking over his joyful expression. He really did care about Virgil. "I know that you were upset about it."

"Yeah, it's..." Deceit paused, giving himself a moment to think about his response. He knew Virgil himself was never truly okay. Of all Sides, himself excluded, Virgil was the best liar. Always pretending everything was fine. But, as far as he could tell, Virgil wasn't so much disturbed by Remus anymore. "It's fine."

"Okay. Good." Patton put back on a closed-lipped smile. "I'm glad to hear that."

"What about you?"

"Oh, you know. I'm your happy, pappy Patton!" Patton's smile faded a little, and he put a comforting hand on Deceit's knee. "Virge, you know we love you no matter what."

"Uh, yeah. I know."

"And just because of the Dark Sides...the _others_...well, all of that doesn't define who you are," Patton said sternly. For a moment, Deceit's breath caught in his throat. He felt something both saddening and frustrating. Or rather, he _didn't_ feel those feelings. He had to remind himself that Patton was talking about Virgil.

"Yeah. Thanks," Deceit said, despite it stinging a little.

For a moment, the two didn't really know what to say. Patton twiddled with his fingers and so did Deceit. Deceit glanced over Patton's shoulder, his attention focused on Logan.

Logan couldn't have seen it coming. But Deceit knew what to look for. His eyes flitted to a mess of dazzling black and glittery green lurking behind Logan like a demonic shadow, and his sight crossed two beady brown eyes. A grin stretched across his demented face. He took a step towards Logan and with a harsh twist of Logan's arm, turned him around and pressed his lips right onto Logan's.

Logan froze. And seconds later shoved his palms into Remus's chest. Remus stumbled backwards and could not hold in his joyous laughter any longer.

Patton jumped off the sofa and almost out of his skin at the sound of that shrill laugh, and quickly whirled around to see what was going on in the kitchen behind him. His eyes widened and his cheeks paled once he, too, caught sight of the Duke.

"Logan!"

Logan. Was. Seething. On the inside, at least. Logan hid his anger behind a calm facade and he hid it well; instead of giving Remus the satisfaction of a reaction, Logan acted like a scolding parent, his jaw and chest squared straightly.

"_Remus_. Just _what_ do you think you're doing?"

Remus snorted. "Ha! You're so cute when you're mad! Look at your tight little lips. So many things that mouth can do for me."

Logan didn't say a word after that and instead turned his cheek towards the Duke. He resumed what he had been doing earlier and carefully scooped a spoonful of dough and dropped it onto a baking sheet. Remus frowned, unsure how to react to this. Remus could not stand being ignored.

"Poohie," he said. Then, a grin twisted the corner of his lips and with a motion of his hands—"Kadabra-abra!"—there was a small puff of glittery dust that misted across the kitchen counter.

Logan coughed twice, and once the dust cleared, he recoiled in shock. And he recoiled further once the putrid smell punched him in the nose. What was once the dough he made with love was now a pile of what looked like bloody vomit that had been collected off Remus's dirty floor. Complete with chocolate chips.

"Ta-da! Aren't you happy? I made cookie dough for you! The secret ingredient...is crushed ladybugs and ground bunny brains!"

Patton let out an audible sound of distress and Logan's face grew dark. Deceit shot up from the sofa, putting on a scowl as he eyed the Duke.

"Remus." Deceit glowered, his brown eyes burning. Remus looked right back at him and his smile turned into a knowing one.

"Oh, why, _Virgil_, how lovely it is to see you," Remus purred. "I missed you, Virgil. You know, I was thinking you'd be the perfect candidate for my experiment, Virgil. I've _always_ wanted to try taking someone apart and putting them back together."

"Get out," Deceit hissed. "Leave Logan alone."

"Virge." Patton worriedly placed a hand on Deceit's arm.

"Aw, sweet Papa Patton trying to protect his helpless little Virgil. How adorable. But, whatever," Remus said, "I was going to leave anyway. You all are no fun. Except you, Logan. You're going to dance in my imagination aaall day! And _who_ _knows_ what _that_ means?" Remus winked.

And with a his arms flared a la Roman, Remus sunk out, leaving nothing but a small cloud of glittery dust.

Logan dropped his shoulders, sighing in exasperation. Patton rushed over to him and Deceit followed.

"Logan." Patton tenderly wrapped his arms around Logan's midriff. "Are you okay?"

"It was only the Duke, Patton. I'm fine," Logan said, truthfully. His eyes flicked to Deceit. "Virgil...?"

"Yeah?"

"You seem a little on-edge," Logan said, his voice as soft as his eyes, "Are you alright?"

Deceit shrugged. "Yeah. A little tense, but I'm okay. I think."

"Oh, Virgil." Patton looked like he was on the verge of tears. He turned away from Logan and hugged Deceit around the shoulders in a protective sort of way. In the warmth of Patton's arms, Deceit felt out of place. He wasn't supposed to enjoy Patton's hugs this much—and he _didn't—_especially as they were meant for someone else. "It's okay, Virgil. Everything's okay."

"Yeah..._Yeah_. Let's just- Let's just not make a big deal out of it, okay?" Deceit said, for more reason than one, "Let's just drop it."

"Agreed," Logan said tightly.

Patton drew away and Deceit wished he didn't. Or, no- Patton drew away and Deceit was _glad_ that he did. Really.

Patton glanced to the evil mess on the counter, at the dough that had turned into not-dough. There was nothing left to salvage. Patton let out a saddened sigh.

"It's alright, Patton. I'll properly dispose of this bio-hazard and try again," Logan said, adjusting his glasses, "If I am correct, as I usually am, we should have an adequate amount of ingredients to start over."

Patton smiled. "Alright!" He whirled around to Deceit. "Do you want to help us out, kiddo? I'm sure this kitchen is big enough for the three of us."

"Heh, nah. I think I'll be going back to my room," Deceit said, shoving his hands in his pockets, "But tell me when the cookies are done."

"Sure thing, kiddo! Oh, and Virgil?"

"Yeah?"

"If you ever need to talk to me, I'll always be here for you, okay?" Patton said.

"_We'll_ be here for you," Logan added with the smallest smile curled on the corner of his lips.

'_You_' meaning '_Virgil_,' Deceit reminded himself.

"Oh." Deceit swallowed, the words, for some reason, not wanting to leave his throat. "Of course you will. Thanks."

Logan and Patton exchanged a confused look, but as soon as they turned back to look at Deceit, he had already sunk out.


	6. ...Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is slightly filler, sorry.  
Deceit visits Roman again.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Manipulative Deceit

Five days had passed.

Deceit was a patient person. Remus, on the other hand, was not, and constantly tantrummed when Deceit held off distracting Patton. Deceit could tolerate his antics. He had already done so for years, after all.

Those five days also helped him collect his thoughts. After that event with Logan and Patton, Deceit needed time to recompose himself. The other Sides did not care for him. The other Sides didn't want to accept him. He was fine with that. It didn't hurt at all. He didn't have any feelings to hurt in the first place. It was better this way. He wasn't at all hiding behind a facade of his own. He was a liar and that's all he was. He took comfort in his own lies. Really. _Really_.

He waited five days before paying Roman another visit. Just like last time, he materialized in Roman's room and felt that rush of imagination he still wasn't entirely used to. Roman was on his bed this time, his arms thrown behind his head as he laid there in complete silence.

Upon his entering, Roman's eyes caught his. Again, worry tensed his body, but he acted gentle, unlike last time when he had acted defensive.

"Greetings, Roman."

"Deceit." Roman sounded startled, not scared nor angry. He curled himself up and sat on his bed, his eyes full of curiosity as to what Deceit was doing back in his room. "You're, uh, you're back. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, nothing in particular," Deceit said. To this, Roman's eyes narrowed a little. Deceit added quickly, "I was hoping for a moment to spend time with you, Roman."

Roman looked mildly surprised. "Spend time? With me? That's all?"

"You are _wonderful_ company, Roman." Deceit smirked.

Roman looked a little on edge, considering Deceit's words carefully. With a small shrug of his shoulders, he said, "Alright, you can stay here awhile."

"I'm not bothering you or anything, am I?" Deceit asked.

"No! No, not at all," Roman said. The blush creeping on his face did not go unnoticed by Deceit. "No, I was, uh, I was just thinking about something. Ideas, you know."

A feeling began to swell in Deceit's chest, a feeling which raged and bubbled, and left a taste of sweetness on his tongue. A feeling Deceit knew all too well. _Lie_.

"But, anyway! Make yourself at home, Deceit," Roman said. Snapping his fingers, Roman conjured more furniture into his room: a sofa with velvety red upholstery and a coffee table. On the coffee table sat a tray with a pot of tea and a bowl of sweets.

"How kind of you, Roman. And impressive, too," Deceit said.

"Oh!" Roman exclaimed. "Thank you."

Deceit paced the new set-up, trailing his finger along the details crafted into the wooden coffee table. "I'm intrigued. You certainly have a useful set of skills, Roman. The Others don't realize what power they have with you by their side. In fact, I reckon they'd be nothing without you." Deceit turned to look over his shoulder. Roman was still, his face somewhat flat, but Deceit could sense it—the pride swelling in his chest, the way his heart pounded against his ribcage. Deceit had him right where he wanted. "You're so..._special_, Roman."

"Oh." Roman was flustered. "I mean- thank you, but I don't think- I don't think that applies only to me."

"But I'm talking about you," Deceit said, "You hardly get the credit you deserve. It's criminal."

Roman, again, considered Deceit's words. After a pause, Roman said, "Why are you saying that?"

"Saying what, Roman?"

"You're just...being so nice to me," Roman said, his voice sounding conflicted, "I want to trust you, Deceit, but I just don't know what to think. Just confess to me now, what is your agenda this time?"

"I have none." Deceit lied smoothly, "I only have the intention of becoming your friend. Is that really that villainous?"

Roman blinked in slight shock, as if the mere thought of being friends with Deceit was blasphemy. Deceit guessed that it was so—after all, Remus had told him days prior how forbidden Roman found their little interaction.

"I...don't know," Roman said. Groaning in frustration, Roman dropped his head in to his hands. "You've made this difficult for me, Deceit. By the goodness of my heart, I have no reason to despise or doubt you right now. But by the knowledge of the past, a better part of myself is telling me not to fall victim to your trickery. And I cannot let you hurt the others. I _cannot_."

Deceit held back a groan. Instead, he put on an amused expression. "Interesting. Especially considering how the Others don't mind hurting _you_."

Roman looked pained as he jolted back. "What...what do you mean?"

"Oh, I'm _sure_ you know what I mean. I mean that—even despite your best efforts, you are _never_ good enough in their eyes, aren't you? They just have to _put up_ with you, don't they?" Deceit said. There was a gleam in his reptilian eye. "But I understand you, Roman. I appreciate you more than the Others ever will. You and I are _so much_ alike...and perhaps that's why I know you so well."

Roman shook his head slightly. "No. No, you're...you're lying about that. The others have been nothing but good to me." Deceit could tell Roman believed in his own words, but the waver of uncertainty in Roman's voice was clear in Deceit's ears. "...right?" Roman's voice was barely above a whisper. His hands nervously clutched the chest of his tunic.

Deceit blinked as he placed a small grin on his lips. "That's for you to decide. And if you decide that, for whatever reason, what I said happened to be _true_, know I'll always be there for you, Roman."

And, like that, Deceit sank out.


	7. Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman mulls things over in the middle of the night, hears Logan and Patton talk.

Three nights had passed and Roman didn't feel like leaving his room. It wasn't like he was trying to avoid the others, but he didn't want them to see him like this. So disheveled. So...insecure. He was Prince Roman and it was totally not fab for a prince to show himself in such a state.

Roman laid there in his bed, again in complete silence as he thought about everything in the dead of night. The words of Deceit rang in his ears like the clock striking twelve.

Deceit must have been lying. That was his whole shtick and spiel. But then why did the words stick with him?

There was a faint light which seeped in under his door and behind it, Roman caught the sound of muffled voices that broke the silence of the night.

"Roman has been acting so strange lately, Logan."

"I agree. He barely came out of his room these passed couple of days."

"I'm worried. Do you think he's alright? Or am I worrying for nothing?"

"I don't know, Patton." A sigh. "Something is troubling him and he hasn't told us yet. As if he thought we wouldn't notice there was something wrong with him."

Roman tensed and guilt washed over him. The others had...noticed?

"He's probably going through something personal." There was a very long pause. "Do you think he told Virgil yet?"

"It's none of my business."

"Right..." Another pause. "Maybe he's overworked himself?"

"Perhaps."

Pause. "I'm really worried, Logan."

There was a somewhat exasperated sigh. "It's Roman, Patton. Anything could have ticked him off. I mean this with no offense, but he's very finicky and demanding. And I mean especially when his insecurities the best of him."

Roman let Logan's words sink in. His heart, at that very moment, did not feel good and he felt all clammy.

"I guess so. Should we...should we check on him?"

"Maybe tomorrow morning, if he doesn't make an appearance during breakfast. For now, I suggest we head to bed. It's getting quite late."

"Yeah...okay."

As footsteps and voices receded from behind his door, the silence crept back in. The pitch blackness closed in around him. Roman felt small, curled up in his own bed.

Logan's words were, no doubt, going to stick with him throughout the rest of the night, too.


	8. Comfort That Goes on in the Middle of the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil finds Roman awake, alone. And during the middle of the night.

Something was not right. It was like a sixth sense.

Virgil rose from his bed, groggy and bitter. He had woken up. Again. For the third time that night. _Again_. This had been going on for longer than he could count.

He was so tired. Tired of waking up in a cold sweat, shaking, with an uncomfortable feeling sitting in the pit of his stomach every single night. With no explanation as to why.

Sometimes he'd get images of Roman. It was always Roman.

Virgil kicked the covers off his legs and laid in the bed, considering what to do. He felt too awake, and yet too tired, to fall back asleep. And his throat felt so, so dry.

Water. Maybe he needed to drink a glass of water to calm down. Yeah.

Heaving himself forward, Virgil got out of bed. He shuffled to his door and proceeded into the hallway. Already he felt better. The coolness of the hallway felt nice against his forehead. Virgil padded further down the hallway, but his steps began to slow once he realized something—a light was on in the kitchen. Virgil stared at the light cast partly in the hallway, both in confusion and caution.

Logically, another Side was awake. At this ungodly hour.

Illogically, the house was getting robbed. Or something in a similar vein.

Braving himself with a big breath, Virgil peeked out into the living room, hoping to catch whoever—Side or thief—was in the kitchen. Relief swathed over him when he noticed the figure hunched over the sink was familiar. Judging by the broad shoulders and mussed hair, it must've been Roman.

Virgil silently walked over to Roman, taking note on how tense he looked and the white knuckles which gripped the counter edges. In an attempt to somehow not frighten him, Virgil lightly cleared his throat. Roman jumped and whirled around. His face looked paler. So much for that.

"Oh, Virgil." Roman sighed, a hand running through his hair. He took in a breath. "Sorry. I didn't...I didn't know you were there."

"It's okay. I didn't exactly make it obvious," Virgil said. Clearing his throat again, this time for real, Virgil asked, "So, if you don't mind me asking, uh...what are you doing?"

Roman tried to smile. That poor idiot looked so freaking tired. "I was just getting some water."

"Oh. Okay. Me, too."

"Can't sleep?"

"Mm-hm. You?"

"Yeah."

Roman took another glass from the cabinet and filled it up with tap. He handed it to Virgil and Virgil took a couple quenching gulps before setting the glass onto the counter. He looked up to Roman. Though Roman was looking at him, he looked so out of it.

"Hey." Virgil nudged him. Roman jumped again, blinking as if he had just forgotten and simultaneously remembered Virgil was there. "Are you okay, Roman?"

Roman was about to answer, but no words came from him. He dropped his head, looking completely defeated. "I don't know anymore, Virge."

Virgil frowned. The weight in his stomach had somehow grown heavier.

Hesitantly, shaking, Virgil let his hand drift to Roman's elbow. He gripped the fabric there and gave it a gentle tug. Like a marionette, Roman followed the pull and he suddenly found himself enveloped in Virgil's arms and buried in the crook of Virgil's neck.

Virgil held him. He wanted nothing more than to hold Roman, to somehow comfort him and protect him away from whatever was troubling him. Roman shuddered in his arms and his body turned lax. Two warm hands held the small of Virgil's back.

"Virgil, I..." Roman mumbled. "Thank you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favorite chapter.


	9. The Truth is Mine to Bend, The Lies are Mine to Believe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit finally asks why Remus is obsessed with Logan, isn't surprised at all.
> 
> Trigger Warnings:
> 
> Self-mutilation mention, Mild depictions of gore, Stalking mention, Brief mention of disturbing sex, and Language

Remus slammed his hands on the table.

"I can't _stand _it, Deceit! Not one more second! I'm about to cut my own legs off!" Remus just about screeched, "I _need_ you to distract Patton. God, the two of them are always together! Did you know they slept in the same room? Now I can't even watch Logan as he sleeps!"

Deceit's eyes flicked up from the table and to Remus's own crazed eyes. He was not even a little amused, but he knew to save his glare. "Patience, Remus. What part of 'these things take time' do you not understand?"

"Well, you've been freely flirting with _Roman_," Remus hissed, eyes cold and dark. "Oooh, I could do so many things to you right now. I want to put your pretty little face into boiling water and watch it peel. I want to take your teeth and shove them into your fluttering eyes. I want to open you up and mangle you until you can't bare the sound of your own screams."

"Why don't you put a sock in it!" Deceit snapped.

"Oh, sure! I guess I could! I'll stuff your mouth full of socks until your jaw bursts out of its own sockets."

"Enough of that. You're nothing but words, Remus," Deceit hissed, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more important matters to tend to."

Remus vice-gripped Deceit's wrist, his voice in a growl. "_Your side of the deal, Deceit_. Cross me and your little game is over. I'll tell _everyone_."

Deceit's eyes lit up with fire, his lips curled into a snarl. "Is. That. So. _Remus_? Could it be that you _forgot_?" Deceit neared Remus's face until he was mere inches away, his breath hot. "_I hold the cards. The truth is mine to bend._"

Remus pulled himself away with a huff and an obvious pout. "Poohie."

Deceit sunk back into his seat, though his sharp eyes did not leave Remus. He was so insufferable, but at least he was finally quiet. Deceit rested a hand on his temples and sighed.

"You're not playing fair, Deceit," Remus said.

"Nothing in life is ever fair." Deceit mumbled. He closed his eyes and let go of a shallow breath. "Why does it matter so much to you, anyway?"

"Hmm?"

"Our deal. Why does it matter to you? What is it with you and Logan?"

Remus brought a finger to his lips in thought. "Interesting question, Deceit. You...you mean other than the fact I want to literally fuck his brains?" Remus grinned, shrugging in nonchalance. "I dunno. I suppose you could say he intrigues me. He just wants everything to make sense. He accommodates so _perfectly_ to the rules. He willingly limits himself to structure and order and that's just so _weird_ to me."

Or course Remus would find it strange. It was Remus's true nature to think anywhere but inside the box whilst Logan was the exact opposite. And the saying _was_ that opposites attract. That seemed to only apply to Remus, though.

So, the truth was that Remus was, in fact, completely infatuated with Logan. Or at least that's what it seemed.

"So, what about you and Roman, then, Deceit?" Remus asked, wiggling his brows suggestively.

"Stop suggesting there is anything between me and Roman. He is merely a tool I can manipulate to my advantage."

Remus let out a bone-chilling giggle. "Oh, Deceit." Cold eyes and a twisted grin burned into Deceit's eyes. "Be careful not to start lying to yourself."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally forgot to update yesterday, sorry! ^^;


	10. Third Time's the Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit visits Roman again, for a third time. He gets something out of it. Wins some, loses some.
> 
> Trigger Warnings:
> 
> Manipulative Deceit and I guess somewhat Abusive Deceit

Deceit was sure that the third time would be the charm.

Roman was listening to him and that was very good. That meant he wasn't discounting Deceit's words and finally beginning to trust him—even a sliver was enough for Deceit to work with. Playing off Roman's insecurities was so easy! Oh, he certainly did love Roman.

It was important for him not to mess up on the third meeting. Deceit was confident, but he wasn't moronic enough to let his successes get to his head. Deceit chose to retain cautiousness when he decided it was time to pay Roman his next visit.

He appeared as he usually did in Roman's room, and as usual, the tingle of imagination stirred within him as soon as he did. It still felt really strange, but Deceit was beginning to find comfort in its familiarity. It made him feel all warm under his thick dress shirt and capelet.

Roman was at his vanity, somewhat slouched over its surface with both arms around his head, as if he had just fallen asleep. He wasn't asleep, however. From where Deceit stood, the sound of unsteady breathing itched his ears and he could spot Roman's beautiful golden brown eyes staring at him through the mirror.

Roman breathed in, brushing his hands over his face and he twisted around in his chair. He put on a smile, but it was so painstakingly obvious to Deceit how artificial it was. It was so out of place, like it didn't belong to that tired face and puffy eyes.

"Hey," Roman greeted. The slight shake of his voice did not go unnoticed by Deceit.

Deceit observed him for a moment, picking out every single lie already playing out before him. His teary eyes behind his smile. His uneven breath behind his cocksure posture. His thoughts of self-loathing behind his confidence.

"Is this a bad time?" Deceit asked.

"No, no..." Roman said. _Lie_. He turned back to stare at his reflection in the vanity mirror. "I was...I was thinking about something. About what you said to me earlier."

"Oh. Well, what about it?"

"That maybe you're right. That..." Roman took in a breath and it looked like it was almost physically painful for him to do so. "The others put up with me because they have to. I really am..._not good enough_ for them." Softer, he mumbled, "But they have the right to think so. Too many things...are wrong with me."

Deceit was suddenly behind Roman at his vanity, his two gloved hands at Roman's shoulders.

"I hate to see you so upset, Roman," Deceit said, his eyes meeting with Roman's in the mirror.

Roman shrugged out of Deceit's grip and turned away, his eyes closed. "I don't know what's real or what's in my head. I think...I'm the problem. I wish I could just stop being so...insecure."

Deceit observed Roman for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. "You're right, Roman," Deceit said. "You _are_ the problem. But..." Deceit leaned a little closer. "Never to me. And you know what? I could give you everything you've ever wanted. Doesn't that sound like a dream?"

Roman looked to him curiously. "What can you give me that I don't already have?"

"Adoration. A chance to make the Others understand your worth. A chance to rid you of your insecurities. A _friend_. Don't you want that?"

Roman's face softened. "I...I do, but..." Roman looked at him, his golden brown eyes teary and conflicted. "How do I know you're not just playing with my insecurities to get what you want? To hurt the others? I can't let you hurt the others."

_There's no way to break his resolution_, Deceit thought in frustration. Deceit smiled tightly. "I'm not going to hurt the Others. I just want to help you, that's all. You're lonely. You need a friend."

"B-but...Can I trust you?"

Deceit hummed, his eyes narrowed. "_Do_ you trust me?" Deceit asked.

"I-I..."

"Do you trust me? It's a simple question with a simple answer," Deceit said.

"I don't know."

"I haven't lied to you, have I? There's nothing I've done to merit such distrust." Deceit hissed.

"I-I suppose so. B-but the others don't trust you. I can't..._betray_ them like that."

"Oh, this is about _loyalty_. Tell me, then, what have the Others done to earn such devotion?" Deceit asked. Roman fumbled for an answer, yet all that came from him were sobs. "Tell me, Roman."

"I-I don't know."

"I'll tell you the truth. They haven't done a thing for you. They're too wrapped up in their own little world filled with rules and sympathy and truth to care about your fantastical purpose, and in extension, you."

"No, wait. Stop," Roman said in a weak voice. Tears were freshly collected on his eyelashes. "Please, stop."

"That's why I like you, Roman. You never were a stickler for rules. In fact, your nature brings you to break them. I told you we were alike." Deceit smirked. "Everything is going against you except for me." Deceit's voice softened. "So, trust me. Let me be your friend. Is that too much to ask?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Roman croaked, his voice on the edge of crying. "I don't know."

"It's alright, Roman. You don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not- I'm _not_ afraid." _Lie_. Because 'afraid' was an understatement—Roman was _terrified_. Terrified of doing the wrong thing. Ever more terrified at the thought of losing the Others. Deceit almost felt bad in trying to coerce Roman into agreeing with his plan. _Almost_. "B- but- what about the others?"

"Don't think about the Others," Deceit snapped. "Trust me. Accept me. Let us form a mutual acquaintanceship. You give me what I want, and I give you what you want," Deceit said. "I don't see any downside to that."

"Right," Roman said in a wavering voice. "You're- you're right."

"I know I am. _You_ know I am."

Roman considered Deceit's words, but Deceit was sure he had already won Roman over. Oh, he loved it when his plans worked out perfectly.

With a heavy sigh, Roman said in defeat, "I- I trust you, Deceit." The words were like a golden melody in his ears. "I trust you."

Deceit smiled. "Oh, Roman, it pleases me to hear that coming from your beautiful lips. I'm so glad you chose to listen to reason."

The look on Roman's face was a complex one. He looked like he was trying to be happy, but there was stiffness to his smile. With the same kind of stiffness, Roman said, "I'll try, at least."

"There, there. Chin up," Deceit said, "I'm your friend, not your enemy. I only want to help you."

"Then forgive me for doubting you." Roman admitted. "You know the others won't like to hear I've made friends with you."

"Then you should be wise not to tell them," Deceit said. "What they don't know can't hurt them."

Roman laughed, but it was humorless. "Right."

_What they don't know can't hurt them_, Deceit echoed his own words in thought. While he never had a problem with lying, that phrase has always sat strangely with him. Maybe because he knew, firsthand, how such a lie hurt.

At that moment, a distant memory of two tear-filled eyes and angry words stirred awake from repression and Deceit brought a hand to where he felt a distinct stinging in his chest.

_No, no, no_, Deceit thought, forcing his memories back. The pain in his chest didn't leave.

Roman gave his a curious look and Deceit merely smiled, shrugging his shoulders as if everything was perfectly alright.

And it was. It was just a memory, after all. It didn't bother him one bit. Really.


	11. Blurry Insides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit does some thinking.

Deceit prided himself over his heart of stone. It had to be that way when his only purpose was to lie. It had to be that way when it came to self-preservation. It just had to be that way. If he started to care, care for anyone but himself, everything would start to go wrong.

Which is why it made him frustrated that he kept on seeing Roman. Roman who, last Deceit saw him, was all teary-eyed and hopeless. It stirred faint feelings inside him Deceit rather not have, feelings which shook the pounding stone heart in his chest.

No, no, no. He _wasn't_ having second thoughts. He _wasn't_ feeling doubtful. He _certainly wasn't_ feeling guilty.

Roman was on his side now. Roman had accepted him. All he had to do was wait until Roman did the work for him. If Deceit couldn't appeal to the Sides, then Roman would certainly be able to. As long as Deceit played off his insecurities and gained Roman's trust and affection, Roman would no doubt side with him and convince the Others to accept Deceit.

And, Deceit considered, if his plan _didn't_ work, it was still at no cost to him. If the Sides protested Roman's judgment of trusting Deceit, then all the little lies he had filled Roman's head with—that the Sides didn't understand him and didn't trust him—would render in Roman's mind as true.

It was perfect in every aspect.

Deceit had planned everything out so meticulously. That was another thing he prided himself over, his attention to detail and levelheadedness.

Which was why it was so frustrating. Roman's saddened eyes wouldn't leave him be.

For the first time in a while, Deceit felt as if he simply..._couldn't_, his own empathy be damned. His empathy was a curse and it hurt, it hurt to always have to lie and manipulate and not have to feel. Empathy was a trait he tried so hard to repress. Deceit rarely ever cracked. And yet, he couldn't keep it at bay forever.

He damned Roman for stirring such emotion in him. Deceit hadn't been lying so much when he said he and Roman were alike. Roman never did quite get the appreciation he deserved, nor the attention, nor was he ever put on a pedestal like the Others had. Deceit understood that, as he was considered the scum of the Sides, unworthy of redemption or love or attention. He simply did the dirty work for the better and filled in the roll of the villain. But that was okay, he was used to it, it was his job, it was his duty, it was his role, and on and on and on and on. _Really_, it was okay.

_Lie_.

It hurt. It really hurt. And he had lied to himself for so long to keep it from hurting him any longer.

Deceit hadn't noticed the tears in his eyes. But that made sense, that was why the world was blurry. Much like how he felt on the inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another one of my personal favorite chapters. :)  
Deceit Angst :) amirite :)


	12. Cracked

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus confronts Deceit, things get juicy.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Corpse mention, Death mention, and Mild disturbing sexual content

"Dearest Deceit, dare I say you look as well as a corpse that's been mauled and beaten to death," Remus said. There was a pause. "What I mean is you look terrible."

Remus was squatted on the table just in front of Deceit, encasing his entire peripheral. He could feel Remus's unblinking eyes following every twitch in his expression. Growing annoyed, Deceit lifted his eyes from his breakfast with a hope that Remus would stop bothering him if he gave him acknowledgment.

"And a fair morning to you as well, Remus," Deceit said, forcing a smile. "I'm fine. I went to bed a little later than usual, that's all."

Remus's eyes squinted, like he was trying to figure out if Deceit was lying or not. _Ha_,Deceit thought, _good luck_. After a long pause, Remus said, "It's actually kind of a turn-on, honestly, seeing you so disheveled. So...vulnerable." Deceit let out a disgusted scoff. "You're so weird right now, Deceit."

"What are you talking about?" Deceit snapped, "I've been acting fine all morning."

Remus grinned from ear to ear and Deceit internally groan when he realized what he just said.

"Acting fine, huh? Well- ha- I'd say you're damn fine- ha, ha, ha- but, but, that's besides the point!" Remus said. He was now up on the table, doing somewhat of a dance. "You were _acting_ fine."

"Yes. Yes, I was," Deceit squeezed through his teeth, hoping Remus would take the hint. Fat chance.

Remus narrowed his eyes. "You're having another one of your _moments_, aren't you?"

"Remus, enough."

"Roman made you feel something, didn't he? He finally made you feel something on the inside, didn't he?" Remus asked, his smile twitchy. "You _cracked_."

Deceit slammed his hands on the table. "_Shut up_."

"All those second thoughts. All that doubt. All that...guilt."

Deceit sunk into his chair, glaring at Remus. "I'm...still working things through."

"You don't want your friendship with Roman to end up like what happened to Virgil."

Deceit, seething, folded his hand with a swift move and Remus slapped his hand over his mouth, forced to keep quiet.

"This has _nothing_ to do with Virgil!" Deceit growled, his eyes on fire despite the water welling in his vision. "I _know_ I lied and manipulated him to get what I wanted. I know I pretended to care about him. I know I used his connection to the Others for myself, but all I ever wanted was to be accepted. I'll never forget when he found out I used him. That _look _in his eyes. Virgil hated me. He _hated_ me..." Deceit crumpled in his chair, shuddering and trying his best to hold back the tears lest Remus made fun of them. "All those _good _times we spent together. Those precious times I hold so dear." Deceit curled his arms around himself, hoping it would somehow soothe the sting in his chest. "It wasn't always an act. I _cared_ for him." The words hurt so much more when they were spoken. "Maybe that's why it hurt so much."

Remus went silent for the longest time. There wasn't a laugh, no clever retort, or horrifying imagery. There was just an uncomfortable silence. That was probably why Deceit was reluctant to look up. When he did, he expected Remus to have some sort of smirk. Maybe proud of himself for evoking such a strong reaction from Deceit. Instead, Deceit met with warm eyes of soothing chocolate.

"Deceit, Dearest..." Remus muttered, "I...I'm sorry."

He opened his arms for a hug, but Deceit shot up stiffly.

"It's fine." He forced through his teeth. "It's _fine_."

"Deceit-"

"_Really_." Deceit hissed.

And sunk out into his room.


	13. Only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Remus knows Deceit is not, in fact, okay, he seeks out help. And since he knows he's the last thing Deceit needs, then Roman must be the first.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Self-deprecation, Incest/literal narcissism mention, Gorey imagery, and Cannibalism mention

Ever since that day, Roman felt like he didn't belong around the Sides anymore, or really...anywhere. He knew it was just his insecurities getting the better of him, but he just couldn't stop thinking them. He was a bad person. How could he befriend _Deceit_, the Side the others treated like a sworn enemy? Roman tossed and turned in his bed. Oh, god, he had betrayed the trust of his fellow Sides. Now they were really going to hate him, if they didn't already. He really was so useless and lonely that he'd stoop as low as keeping Deceit as company, of all people.

But was it really a bad thing?

Deceit wasn't exactly evil, was he?

God, how did Patton do it?

_Roman, you selfish, stupid dolt. Look how useless you are_.

The thoughts ran through his head in circles until he eventually got tired of it and forced himself to think of something else.

He liked to think about Virgil. Virgil with his beautiful dark eyes that Roman got lost in. His disheveled hair that actually felt really soft. His hugs. Every little touch here and there that lingered on Roman's skin even after hours had passed. Oh, how he longed to kiss him! Roman curled up into a happy ball and kicked his feet every time he thought about it. He felt so unabashedly euphoric.

He felt bad he couldn't tell Virgil about his crush. Well, it wasn't that he couldn't, but he knew Virgil would never love him like _that_. Roman couldn't picture anyone who would want to love him like that, if not Virgil. But Roman didn't like to think about that. He liked to live in his own little fantasy where nothing could hurt him. Where he wasn't so...insecure about everything.

So, Roman laid there in his bed, kicking his feet like a madman as his heart exploded with the happiness that came with thinking about Virgil. He hadn't expected any company, as he had just turned in early for the night. Which is why it freaked him out when he suddenly heard a throat clearing loudly from within the walls of his room.

Roman shot up, hoping desperately the blush on his cheeks wouldn't be too noticeable. _Please don't let it be Virgil, please don't let it be Virgil, please don't let it-_

"Happy early birthday, brother!"

There stood Remus, his hands flared and his hip popped out in a way that was way too suggestive for Roman's tastes, and Remus knew it. A long grin curled under that insufferable mustache. It only took Remus one up and down look to figure out all the little thoughts running through Roman's blushing head. Remus purred with interest, the coldness in his eyes turning lewd.

"So..._Virgil_, huh?" Remus said in tease. He tutted. "Naughty, naughty, Roman."

Roman covered his face with his palms and groaned. "I only thought about kissing him, shut up!" Roman forced himself to peel his hands away from his face. "What are you doing here?"

"Now, now, we all have our reasons. What are _you_ doing here?"

"This is _my_ room!"

"Oooh, right," Remus said, "Aaanyway, I need to ask you something."

Roman didn't really know what it was with Remus, but the subtle tonal shift in Remus's voice didn't go lost on him. Remus, for once, sounded...serious? Roman now looked to his mirror part with a new found curiosity and worry.

"What?"

"Well, I'm having a bit of a personal problem."

"Ew."

"No, no, no, it's not like that!" Remus said, "Although, if you want it to be, I guess I can get into it. I haven't considered literal narcissism before, so this could be fun."

"No, no, no, stop," Roman said, snapping his fingers twice to get Remus to focus. "Just go back to what you were talking about before. About your...personal problem?"

"Oh, yeah, _that_. Well..." Remus sighed, rubbing the back of his head. "I could use a shoulder to cry on right now. But, like, not for me. I just need your shoulder. If you could kindly dislocate your shoulder and slice it off, I'll be on my way."

"Remus." Roman walked up to Remus, taking both of his mirror image's clammy hands into his own. "Remus, simply tell me what's wrong."

"Can you just...come with me?" Remus asked, "I need you to be the hero right now. All I do is make it worse."

"Make what worse, Remus?"

"Come with me?" Remus persisted.

"A-alright."

And one blink later, Roman found himself stumbling into an unfamiliar room with poor Remus trying to support his weight as he partly collapsed onto the floor. Immediately, Roman was greeted by the smell of earl grey tea and a waft of hot air. Yes, the room was very hot for some reason. Roman leapt back onto his feet, courtesy of Remus, quickly spinning around to see where he was.

It was a bedroom. All neat and tucked away, like it hadn't been touched for months. Even the dull greys, blacks, and yellows didn't bring the life the room desperately needed. It reminded Roman of Logan's room: a tad too plain, too quiet, and just too neat.

Remus tugged on his brother's sleeve, pointing to the bed in the corner. Roman, at first, thought Remus was only pointing to an empty bed, but upon taking a second look, he noticed a small lump under the sheets.

Roman jolted away when it hit him: he was in somebody's room and it _wasn't_ Remus's. It was Deceit's room.

"Get out," mumbled a voice from under the covers, "I told you not to come into my room, Remus."

Roman cleared his throat. "Deceit? Is...everything okay?"

There was no response for a moment. Then came a sigh, and in the blink of an eye, Deceit sunk out from his bed and materialized in front of Remus and Roman. He was as pristine as ever and, as always, emulating a sense of class. Roman wanted so hard to believe something was off, but he couldn't see through Deceit's blank mask. It must've been something about the room which forced him to think Deceit was fine. He was in the liar's lair, after all.

"Roman, nice of you to drop by," Deceit said coolly. "Is there anything you need of me?"

"Uh...I don't know," Roman admitted, quickly glancing to Remus. "How are you?"

"I'm fine." Deceit shot a glare to Remus. "Is Remus bothering you?" Though Deceit obviously aimed the question to Roman, Roman felt as if the words directly threatened Remus.

Roman took a step forward on instinct, his shoulder acting as shield between the two other Sides. "No," Roman replied, "It's just that...Remus told me something was wrong, and I can only assume he meant that something was wrong with you."

Deceit's expression turned nervous for a split second before it reverted back to blankness.

"Oh," Deceit said with a dismissive wave of the hand. "You know how he likes to say things to get your attention. Just ignore him."

"Roman," Remus said, giving Roman's sleeve a tug, "This room will make you think that his lies are the truth. Please, you have to help-"

Deceit frowned and curled his hand, forcing Remus to keep his mouth shut.

"Enough of that! Why won't you believe that I'm fine?" Deceit hissed. "And now you bring Roman into this? You don't know when to stop, do you? I'm fine! I'm fine. I'm..._fine_..."

Roman looked to Remus and Remus looked back to him with pleading eyes. While the room distorted lies and truth inside Roman's head, he could see it clearly in Remus's eyes: Something really _was_ wrong. Roman looked to Deceit.

"No," Roman said softly. Deceit's head snapped to Roman, his face painted in confusion and surprise. "No, Deceit. You're not fine."

Deceit straightened. He said through his teeth and a fake smile, "You know I appreciate you so very much, Roman. Unfortunately, you're wrong." But even the room couldn't force Roman in believing that Deceit had spoken the truth. Roman knew what it felt like; Deceit was trying to hide behind a mask of confidence in desperation. It took one to know one. "You don't always have to be the _hero_, Roman. I _don't_ need saving."

"Deceit, please," Roman said, "It's okay to not be fine."

"No!" Deceit growled. "You don't know what it's like, Roman. You don't know how much it hurts to care!"

Roman blinked in shock. At the same time, Deceit's partly hostile expression melted and a wide-eyed look took over. He brought his hand to his mouth.

"What?" was all Roman could bring himself to say.

Roman watched as Deceit fumbled for the right words to say to salvage himself, but no words made it passed his trembling lips. Deceit stood there, teary-eyed, unsure what to do with himself. Roman caught the edge of Deceit's sleeve and pulled him close, wrapping two arms around his shoulders. Deceit fell limp in Roman's hold, his head buried into Roman's chest which smelled of sugar and spice and everything nice.

"It's okay," Roman said softly, rocking Deceit in his arms, "Everything will be okay."

Roman couldn't see Deceit's face, but he could feel Deceit breathe out soft sobs into his garbs. Roman turned his head to catch a glimpse of Remus. Remus was watching the two of them hug and once his eyes met with Roman's, he smiled triumphantly. Roman smiled back.

After a while, Deceit began to pull back, and, though Roman knew he didn't mean to, he shoved Roman away from him quite harshly. Deceit, being the master of facades, returned a blank look to his face with not even a trace of tears.

"That was _unnecessary_," Deceit said.

"It might've been," Roman said as he shrugged. "But do you feel better?"

Deceit turned away, his arms crossed. "I already _told_ you. I'm _fine_. Just...just go away. Get out of my room."

It was saddening to Roman to see Deceit so resolute in lying about his true feelings, but he was going to respect Deceit's decision. Roman turned back to Remus. Remus offered Roman his hand and with a small second glance back to Deceit, Roman took it.

In an instant, the two of them were back in Roman's room. Roman took in a deep breath to gather himself.

"What happened to him?" Roman asked. He looked to Remus, who looked uninterested. "What did he mean, 'it hurts to care?'"

Remus shrugged nonchalantly. "He's a liar. If he cares too much-" Remus imitated the sound of an explosion and made a similar gesture with his hands. Then he smiled.

Roman still had no idea what that meant and it still had him worried for Deceit, but he dropped it for his own sake; Remus wasn't going to tell him.

"Anyway, thanks," Remus said, "You know. For coming with me."

"You're welcome, but I don't think I did much," Roman said.

"Oh, but Deceit certainly needed that," Remus said, "Especially from you."

Roman looked at him in confusion.

"What? Why? Because I'm his only friend?"

"Of course not. _I'm_ his friend," Remus said, pointing to himself. He pointed to Roman. "But you're his only."

"His only? What even-"

"Well, toodle-do! I'd love to overstay my welcome, but I'm getting bored," Remus said, flaring his hands. "I think I'll go skin a witch to put in my toad's brew. Wish me luck!"

And like that, he was gone.

Roman sunk until he was seated on his bed, looking to where Remus had been standing two seconds ago. He looked at his hands, the very same hands that held Deceit as he cried.

'_His only_...' Roman thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update today because it's my birthday, I can do whatever I want!


	14. Villain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit confronts himself.

Roman had hugged him.

It lingered like a ghost. Deceit could still feel Roman's tender hands gripping at his shoulders and the smell of sugar and spice caught in his nose. Deceit _hated_ it. Roman was too kind. Too chivalrous. Too charismatic. It had been so much easier to manipulate Virgil, at least at first. Virgil wasn't the kindest nor the most charismatic, and preferred to be alone, which made it easier not to grow attached to him too much. Roman, on the other hand, was exactly the opposite. It was hard not to fall for that smile or those warm eyes. Just thinking about it gave Deceit butterflies.

But he couldn't afford to think about it. Roman was a piece on his chessboard, and to play his pieces right, he couldn't care. To capture the king, he'd have to sacrifice his knight. Caring about his knight could threaten his win. Or his heart.

Metaphors weren't exactly Deceit's strongest point.

Deceit stared himself in the mirror. He poked at the reddened skin around his puffy eyes, hoping somehow that would make the tears go away.

"Get it together," Deceit mumbled to his mirror.

'_You_ get it together,' the eyes in his mirror snapped back. 'What exactly is it you want? Acceptance among the Others or a friendship with Roman?'

Deceit let out an irate sigh. "It's just my empathy. It gets in the way and I can't think straight."

'Maybe it needs to get in the way,' said the eyes.

"No, I don't think it does."

'If you're so conflicted, then you must not want to be accepted as much as you care for Roman.'

"I'm _not_ conflicted."

'Save your lies. _I'm you_. I know the truth. It will _kill_ you to let go of Roman.'

"At least the Others will finally understand."

'Right. And you'll forget about what you had with Roman, just like what happened to Virgil.'

"_I never forgot __what I had with__ Virgil_."

'And it hurt, didn't it?'

Deceit felt as if he had been struck in the face. _Hard_. He crumpled to his knees, his head buried in his hands. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't repress his empathy any longer.

"I can't do it. I can't do it. It'll hurt too much," Deceit said to himself. He wrapped his arms around himself, but found no comfort in doing so. "I have to tell Roman I lied. I have to tell Roman." Deceit was _shaking_. "I don't want to tell Roman. I don't want it to hurt. I don't want it to hurt."

Deceit glanced up to his reflection. His two teary mismatched eyes stared back at him with the same ice as the silver mirror.

'Maybe it deserves to hurt. After all, you _are_ the villain.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating so late!


	15. Virgil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit has a dream.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Manipulative Deceit and I don't know if I should warn for this, but maybe Abusive Virgil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited for this chapter...

"When were you going to tell me?"

His voice was dripping with venom. His eyes were full of ice and wet with tears.

Deceit whirled around. His palms were feeling sweaty in his gloves.

"Virgil."

"You were never going to tell me, were you? You were just going to lie and lie until you got what you wanted." Virgil looked pained and angry, the expression heartbreaking.

"Virgil-"

"Don't try to _lie_ to me anymore! I'm not _dumb_!"

Deceit flinched.

"Nothing you said was ever true, was it? You weren't appreciating me because you cared. In fact, you didn't care for me at all, did you? You were doing it all for _yourself_. You _used _me."

Deceit could force no words from his mouth. A mixture of sadness and horror constricted his throat so tightly, he could hardly breathe.

Tears were streaming down Virgil's cheeks as he stood there, his teeth bared and fists balled until the knuckles were white.

"Are you surprised I figured it out? Yeah. It wasn't hard. I just put the pieces together. The fact that you suddenly gave me more attention. The fact that you were the only one who seemed to understand me. The fact that you revealed me to the Others without so much of a protest. You gave me everything I ever wanted. You gave me a friend."

Virgil's voice sounded so broken. Each word pierced into Deceit's chest and left behind a bitter sting. It hurt. It hurt so much more than Deceit anticipated and left him feeling numb.

"That was all part of the act, wasn't it? You sent me to the Others because you wanted me to tell them about you. To make you look like you're not the villain so you could finally be accepted. _Isn't that right, Deceit_?"

"I was going to tell you." Deceit heard himself say. "I _did_ care for you."

"Oh, _did you_? Because-" Virgil's voice cracked. He looked away, steadying his breath in his hoodie sleeve. "Because that's a lie. It's a lie. Everything you say is a lie. You _lie_! The Others will never see you as anything other than the villain! Because that's what you are. You were never my friend."

Virgil turned on his heel. Deceit tried to reach to catch Virgil's shoulder, but Virgil began to dissolve before his eyes. The world around him was growing dark. Deceit felt so inexplicably alone and he was choking. He just couldn't breathe.

Deceit opened his eyes.

Everything around him was cold and dark.

His breathing was shallow and he was drenched in sweat. He brought a shaking hand to his chest, throbbing with pain that wasn't there. He brought a hand to his cheek and felt tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I JUST WANT TO SAY THANK YOU, WE'RE JUST ABOUT AT 100 KUDOS, LIKE, WHAT?! <3


	16. Friend of Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman checks up on Deceit, local snek boi gets a crush.

The next morning, Deceit woke as he usually did.

He did not feel good. It had been a restless, emotional night and he hated every second of it. All he could think about was Virgil. As if the demons of his past hadn't made him suffer enough. But that was the cost of being empathetic; He had to suffer.

Deceit took the time to recompose himself until his reflection looked sufficiently kempt. Deceit quickly practiced some expressions in the mirror before settling on a somewhat neutral visage to wear throughout the day. He really was having an off day. Adjusting his hat, Deceit sunk out of his room and into the living area.

Deceit didn't make it two steps towards the kitchen before he was rudely bumped into by Roman, who just rose up from out of nowhere. Deceit, naturally, stumbled back in surprise, but Roman caught him by the elbows before he could fall any further. Deceit wanted to be irritated, but he couldn't be upset at Roman. Not when Roman was looking at him with such gentleness and warmth.

"Woah, there! I express my deepest apologies, fellow friend," Roman said. He set Deceit back onto his feet, but even as he let go, Roman's touch lingered on Deceit's elbows. As did the blush that began to creep onto Deceit's human face. "Are you alright?"

"Do warn me next time you decide to pay me an untimely visit," Deceit snapped, flustered. "What are you doing here?"

Roman smiled a little. "I was worried for you." He wasn't lying. _Why wasn't he lying?_ "I know yesterday wasn't a fabulous day for you, so I was wondering if you feel a little better."

"Oh." _Roman was...worried for me?_ "Yes, I'm fine, as I've said before."

"Yes, you _have_ said that, but according to Logan, 'fine' has a multitude of meanings, and most of them are actually indications of mental and emotional distress." Roman said, shooting Deceit a soft look. Deceit hoped his fidgeting wasn't too obvious. "It does have me concerned, my fairest friend. Remus wouldn't have asked for my help yesterday if it wasn't serious."

"Oh. He's more intuitive than I thought," Deceit said. He was surprised when he heard a hearty laugh from Roman. It was a beautiful laugh.

"I agree," Roman said, "My mirror image can be pretty astute with emotions if he wills himself to focus on them." Roman sighed. "And emotions can be tricky."

"I find myself agreeing," Deceit said, taking great care in keeping his tone level. "If you don't mind me asking-"

"Anything for a friend of mine!"

"-how do you do it?"

Roman blinked. "Do what?"

Deceit took in a breath. "Deal with emotions. How does it...not hurt for you to care so much?" Deceit asked. "I'm asking for a friend."

Roman smile sadly and merely shook his head. "Emotions are complex. Some things are just going to hurt and there's nothing you can do about it. But you shouldn't repress them. I know you want to." Roman put a hand on Deceit's chest. Deceit's breath hitched in surprise, but he didn't _dislike_ the warmth of Roman's hand. "Feel your heart beat, Deceit. It doesn't want to be withheld. It's okay for you to feel things."

"I was asking for a _friend_, not myself." Deceit reminded not-so convincingly. "I have _no_ problems with my empathy."

Roman dropped his hand with a sigh. "Then, may I ask _you_ a question?"

Deceit eyed Roman with caution. "Go on."

"Why do you hate your empathy so much?"

"I...don't understand."

"It's just that you..." Roman sighed again, combing his hand through his hair. "You hide the most beautiful part of yourself like you wish it didn't exist."

"I- I don't- Yes, I know," Deceit stammered, blushing.

Roman didn't say anything, waiting for Deceit's response.

Deceit's lip twitched a little. "That's an incredibly personal question."

"I'm sorry," Roman said softly. "I just care for you. You're my friend, after all."

Ever the cynic, Deceit snapped, "Would you have cared if I wasn't your friend?"

"I think I would," Roman said. "But, maybe I wouldn't. I don't know."

Deceit stared at him as blankly as he could, but it was hard to act so callous when Roman's gaze gave him the fuzzies on the inside. God, all of them were just so warm.

"It's complicated," Deceit said. "You wouldn't understand. Sometimes things are easier if feelings aren't involved. Does that answer your question?"

Roman studied Deceit for a second. He looked to the Side with sadness. "You sound like you speak from experience."

"Oh, does it?" Deceit said dryly.

"I'm sorry, my friend," Roman said, "There is so much more to you than what meets the eye. You're more than just..."

"A villain." The word felt bitter on Deceit's tongue.

Roman rubbed his arm. "Yeah."

"Wait," Deceit took a step back, breaking his blank face with a look of part confusion and part shock. "You don't consider me a villain?"

"No," Roman said. Roman smiled. "You're my friend."

_He wasn't lying_.


	17. In His Nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit acknowledges his predicament...

Friend. Friend. Friend. The word sounded so strange in his head. It had connections. It meant someone liked him.

Deceit tended to avoid making connections with anybody. Especially after Virgil. He hated his empathy for making him care so much about Virgil and he hadn't meant to. In fact, it was in his nature not to care. But he did, and that's why it hurt. And that was why he repressed his empathy in the first place, as a mechanism to protect himself. He was the instinct of self-preservation, after all.

Deceit didn't want another friend. He didn't want to care for anyone other than himself. Yet, he was growing more and more conscious of the heart beating in his chest. Why was his empathy constantly escaping its repression? Why did his empathy want to make him suffer by giving him Roman? It frustrated him to no end that his own _empathy_ was working against his nature of self-preservation.

Roman had called him his friend. Deceit loved it. No, he didn't. Roman held a warm hand to his chest. Deceit wished he could stay there a little longer. No, he didn't. Roman looked at him with all the softness in the world. Deceit could feel his heart lurch in his chest. No, he didn't.

Deceit _needed_ to be the instinct of self-preservation. He did.

He wanted to repress his empathy. He did and he didn't.

He really didn't want Remus to know he had a crush. Because, he didn't. Really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, sorry this chapter is so short
> 
> ALSO
> 
> I BASED THE CHAPTER TITLE OFF OF SOMETHING,  
GO READ @thedancingstorm's story, "It's In His Nature," it's really good!!


	18. Good Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus has to remind Deceit of the deal...again...
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Necrophilia mention, Orgy mention, and Language

"Deeeceeeiiit!"

Remus came floating into the dining room, leaving behind an unsightly mess of of green glitter at his feet. Remus lounged himself across the table, his chest covering half of the morning paper Deceit was attempting to read, effectively gaining the other Side's attention. Deceit took a bitter sip from his bitter tea—bitter tea to match his soul.

"What is it, Remus?"

"It's been like, a month," Remus said, "And I need to, like, fuck Logan. He doesn't even need to be alive. You can join, if you want. We could kill Roman, too. I think I've mentioned something about necrophilia before."

Deceit cleared his throat. "What are you talking about, Remus?"

Remus slammed his hands and feet on the table like an upset toddler. "_I haven't gotten with Logan yet and it's literally driving me up the freaking wall_!" Remus pointed an angry finger. "We made a deal! What's it going to take to get you to distract Patton for me?"

"Patience." Deceit deadpanned.

Remus clawed at his hair and let out a shrill screech. Again, he kicked his feet and hands—now gripping clumps of hair—against the table in tantrum. "I've been a good boy, Deceit! Give me what I want!"

"_Remus_," Deceit snapped, "Enough of that. Stop it."

Immediately, Remus's wailing stopped and he sat himself up, watching Deceit in anticipation with burning, attentive eyes.

Deceit pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. I'll do it."

"Oh, good," Remus chirped, "I'm glad I didn't have to use this."

Remus held up his morning star, swinging it nonchalantly.

"What were you planning on using that for?" Deceit asked, moreso out of curiosity than fear.

"Oh, you know. In case I needed to smash your hand to 'sweeten the deal.'"

Deceit took another sip of his tea. "If we're being frank, your negotiation skills are dreadful."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updates! Hurricane season, amirite


	19. Hell To His Doorstep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has thoughts about Roman.

Something was wrong with Roman and it was beginning to drive Virgil crazy.

Yeah, Virgil was no idiot. He knew it when he saw it—and that night in the kitchen was proof enough. Roman had looked so tired and helpless. It was depressing. Scary, almost. Very unlike Roman.

What bothered him more was that Roman hadn't said anything, even though it was clear he was hurting. But _why_. Roman insisted all the time he was fine. He never acted fine. _Why_?

Virgil plopped onto his bean-bag chair, upset. Virgil just wished there was something for him to do about it. The situation was frustrating, but frustration was a long-running emotion when it came to him and Princey.

_You know what's really frustrating? Missing Roman every day_, Virgil thought.

That was the truth; Virgil missed Roman. Roman barely came out of his room anymore and when he did, he was always a tad too stiff, too quiet, too tired, too _something_. Virgil missed the Roman he knew. The Roman with his beautiful smiling face, his gentle hands, his boisterous self that was too loud, but that Virgil loved to hate. God, he loved his Roman. He loved Roman so much. Virgil never was upfront with his feelings, but ugh, even he couldn't deny it. He loved Roman.

_This dumb crush is also frustrating_, Virgil thought to himself humorlessly.

Virgil couldn't explain it. Thinking about the moments when Roman made his heart flutter made him so happy. He wanted Roman to hold him more and whisper sweet nothings in his ears until he fell asleep against his chest. God, that was the dream.

Virgil snorted. _If only. There's no way he'd like me like that_.

But that was okay, Virgil could live with that; He was used to being unloved, anyway. Plus, it wasn't like his crippling anxiety would just let him confess. What wasn't okay was Roman not being okay. Virgil hated it.

"I should pay him a visit." Virgil muttered to himself. The thought of seeing Roman made his heart lurch and his head all woozy. God, he really missed that idiot. "If he's so hellbent on hiding in his room, _I'll_ go to _him_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updating today to compensate for the most recent lack of updates! ALSO, chapter titles as musical references, anyone?


	20. "Oh..."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman, crushes, and confessions. That is all.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Lots of self-deprecation and lots of swearing (Thanks, Virgil)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For you: a 2500+k word chapter! <3

Roman had been pacing his room for hours. Four steps that way, four steps back. And again. The floor under his feet felt stable when the rest of him...didn't. There was this constant, back and forth dilemma bouncing in his head like an annoying Remus, and it was driving him crazy.

Roman was thinking about Virgil again.

And confessing.

Roman didn't like that he was thinking about the two at the same time. That only meant he really was crazy.

_I wonder h__ow far gone I have to be to be thinking about confessing to Virgil_, Roman thought. Yet, even knowing this, he paced and continued to entertain this idea out of sheer curiosity. _What if I DID confess to Virgil?_

Maybe Virgil wouldn't hate him _too_ much. Maybe Virgil wouldn't mind. Maybe he wouldn't laugh at Roman's face like Roman imagined he would. Maybe.

_No, no, no, __what am I thinking? __I can't confess to him_. Roman paced some more. _He doesn't like me like that, remember?__H__e deserves somebody better than useless me_.

That thought hurt, but it was the truth. Roman never was good enough, was he? Virgil deserved so much more than...whatever insecure mess Roman was.

_But I love him so much_, Roman thought, _I don't know if I can hold it in me any longer. He must know of my undying love for him. Otherwise, what am I doing with myself? I can't continue to live like this...without him_.

_And yet, the moment you tell him, you know he'll reject you. He'll hate you. You're not good enough for him. You're you, after all. __Who would want you_?

Roman brought a hand to his mouth, stopping a dry sob. Ouch, the truth really did hurt.

"But I...I love him." Roman muttered. "Is that not enough?"

_You know the answer to that_.

Again, ouch.

Roman paced and paced. Four steps that way, four steps back. And again.

"I need to tell him," Roman said, "Even if he rejects me. I need to tell him. This is eating me from the inside out and I will literally lose it, if I haven't already, if I don't tell him." Roman sunk to his knees, his head in his hands. "Oh, I never know what to do. If only my bravery wasn't so fabricated."

"A little bird told me a prince was having difficulty facing his quest?"

Roman's head snapped up, twisting around to see none other than Deceit standing neatly in the corner of his room. Roman sighed, relieved mostly that it wasn't Virgil.

"Deceit," Roman said. He got to his feet. "That little bird is incredibly astute."

Deceit looked smug, but otherwise said nothing.

"You're looking better." Roman noted.

Deceit blinked curiously. To Roman, it almost looked like he had been caught off-guard. Deceit didn't let it show, though. "You're looking worse."

Roman hung his head, sighing. "I...I know. I'm sorry, Deceit. You caught me at a bad time, if I'm being honest. My mind is all kinds of messy right now."

Deceit squinted, taking a moment before saying, "But Roman, that's precisely why I'm here." In an instant, he was beside Roman. "Do you want to talk about why you think you're not good enough?"

Roman flinched. "You...you know about that?"

"It's one of your most bothersome insecurities, how could I not?" Deceit deadpanned.

"I...I guess." Roman shrugged. He sighed. "It's just that I-" He sighed again. "Can you...can you keep a secret?"

Deceit blinked. "...Yes."

"You know, just between us," Roman said. Deceit nodded. "Okay. Well, I, uh, how do I put this in words? I have a crush, okay?" Roman breathed out. He studied Deceit's face, but Deceit was completely unreadable.

"Alright," Deceit said, even his voice masking any trace of emotion. "The problem being?"

"It's a- it's a crush on Virgil," Roman said quickly. "I know, I know, it's...stupid. But I just don't know how I should tell him. Or if I should tell him."

Deceit's eyes narrowed and his lips twitched a little. "Why shouldn't you?" There was a distinct dip in his voice. It almost sounded as if he was upset about something.

"That's...that's what I'm insecure about," Roman said with a forced chuckle.

Deceit frowned. "You don't think you're good enough for him."

Roman dropped his shoulders. He nodded.

"And why is that?"

"I...I don't know. It's just that...he deserves someone who...isn't me," Roman said, "I mean, look at me."

"I am."

"I'm not perfect! Virgil deserves...so much more. So much more than stupid me."

Deceit stared at him for a second, his face completely neutral. "You need to stop fussing over how perfect you think you are."

"But if I'm not perfect, then what am I? Nobody can love a nobody."

"No, but they can love a Roman," Deceit said. Deceit took a long breath. "Go to him, Roman."

Roman looked to up to Deceit. "Huh?"

"Tell him you love him," Deceit said.

"But...what- why- what if he hates me?" Roman asked. "I don't know, maybe it would be better not to know the truth. I know it would kill me if I knew he hated me. I...I love Virgil so much."

For a split second, a look of hurt crossed Deceit's face. Like he had just been smacked in the face. "Oh, that's right. You...love him." His eyes turned somewhat hollow and he mumbled under his breath. "I...don't know why that took me so long to register. You love him."

Roman blinked. "Yes?"

Deceit was silent for a moment, eyes downcast. His face was as emotionless as ever. Deceit inhaled and finally spoke.

"If he hates you, you'll know what kind of company to keep." Sharply, Deceit said, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I must depart. I'm afraid I left Remus unattended and he's likely cross with me."

"Wait." Roman grabbed Deceit's hand. "What's wrong?"

"Wrong?" Deceit mocked.

"Yes. Wrong," Roman said.

Realizing Roman wasn't going to drop it, Deceit smiled a little, speaking through tight lips, "You wouldn't want to know." And he sunk out before Roman had the chance to say another word.

Roman stood there for a moment. He blinked.

_What the heckity heck_? Roman thought, _That was so weird_.

More accurately, _Deceit _was being weird and he had been for a while now. Clearly something was affecting him, yet there was nothing Roman could about it. Deceit obviously didn't want to talk about it. Still, Roman couldn't help but wonder what was bothering him so much.

Roman shrugged his shoulders. Deceit would come around in his own time, he figured. He had more present issues to deal with. Virgil.

Roman let out a nervous laugh. No, no, no. He shouldn't be nervous. Deceit literally just encouraged him to confess to Virgil like it wasn't a big deal—and maybe it wasn't. Deceit wouldn't steer him wrong. Deceit was his friend, after all. Right?

Roman began to pace again. Pace, as in freak out. A _lot_.

So, when he spun on his heel and met face to face with none other than Virgil himself, it was a reasonable enough reaction to let out an ear-piercing scream.

"Holy shit." Virgil flinched. He brought a hand to his ear, caressing it with an irritated look. "Chill the fuck out, Princey, it's just me. Sheesh."

Roman almost forgot to breathe. If it wasn't because Virgil scared the crap out of him, it was because it was Virgil. Everything about him made Roman's lungs stop working for some reason.

And it didn't help that Virgil was staring at him with those beautiful brown eyes, waiting for Roman to say something. Roman thought he was about to choke.

"Oh," was all Roman could manage.

Virgil, looking both concerned and confused, settled a hand on Roman's shoulder. "You can breathe now, Roman."

"Oh," Roman repeated and he finally let out a long, shaky breath. "Oh, okay." _Look at me_, Roman thought,_ I'm a complete mess. Oh, god, what am I going to do_?

"You okay?"

"Um. Yeah. Maybe. I think." Roman cleared his throat. "S- sorry about that. I- I don't know why I freaked out like that."

"Oh, it's- it's fine," Virgil mumbled. "That's on me, I kinda burst in on you. So, sorry."

Roman swallowed. "No worries," Roman said. A bit hesitantly, he asked, "So, um, what are you doing here, Virge?"

Virgil shot him a glare, his voice tight and sharp. "Why do you think I'm here, Princey?"

Roman flinched. Virgil glared at him with fire, but there were tears welling up in his eyes. Roman felt his heart sink.

"I was worried!" Virgil snapped, his voice cracking. "You haven't been acting like yourself recently. You never come out of your room anymore. You always act fine, even though I know you're not. And I-I-" Virgil's voice broke and he sobbed into his hoodie sleeve. Virgil steadied his breath before he spoke again. "I missed you, Roman. I missed you so much."

Roman felt like he had just been punched in the gut.

"Virgil...I'm...I'm so sorry," Roman said, "I didn't mean to upset you."

Virgil sniffed, looking away. "You didn't upset me. You had me fucking pissed," Virgil said. "But. Yeah. Whatever. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

Roman felt sick with self-loathing. _How could I be so selfish? How could I hurt Virgil like that? __God, I really am useless and stupid, aren't I? I hurt Virgil_...

Roman hadn't expected to, but the moment Virgil's eyes returned to him, he burst into tears and crumpled to his knees.

"I'm so sorry, Virgil!" Roman cried into the palms of his hands. His shoulders shook with the intensity of his sobs. "I didn't know I was hurting you and I'm s-so sorry. I- I'm so stupid and selfish. You don't deserve to deal with me. I'm s- sorry."

Roman sobbed, hiding behind his hands. He didn't want to see Virgil's tear-stained face and know he was the cause of it. He didn't want it to hurt more than it already did. _It hurts, but I deserve it_, Roman thought in repeat, _I deserve __it__. I deserve __it__. I-_

Roman stiffened when he felt shaking arms wrap around his shuddering shoulders and a warm chest press up against his side. A pair of chapped lips placed a chaste kiss on Roman's forehead.

Roman was reeling. Too many emotions were running through his head.

"Look at the two of us, sobbing our eyes out." Virgil laughed dryly. "What kind of a mess are we?" Roman began to sob harder, but Virgil only hugged Roman tighter. "It's alright, Roman. It's alright. Everything will be alright. Breathe with me. Please?"

Virgil's breath was soft against his ears, the pulse of Virgil's chest was comforting, and the arms around him were warm. Roman, struggling to find a steady breath, calmed once he focused on Virgil. There was silence for a moment and then Virgil broke the silence.

In an unsteady voice, Virgil said, "What I really want to know is why. Why are you doing this to yourself, Roman? Why are you- Oh, I'm getting all emotional again- shit." Virgil wiped away the extra tears from his cheeks. "You know what, Roman? Fuck, I love you. You know that? I hate that you're hurting and it's frustrating when you won't _talk to me_." Roman could feel that Virgil was shaking. "I love you, Roman. Do you understand that? I love every single bit of you, perfections and flaws. I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your sensitivities. I love your chivalry. _I_ _love you, Roman._"

Roman choked. "What do you- what do you mean?"

_There's no way, there's no way, there's no way-_

Virgil took in a long breath. "I don't know how else you want me to put it, Princey."

Roman clutched Virgil's hoodie, crying into it softly. "You have no- no idea what that means to me."

Virgil didn't say anything for a moment. "It's just...a stupid confession."

"No. Not to me, it isn't," Roman said. He lifted his puffy face, a disorganized mess of tears, and his eyes met with Virgil's. "I'm s-sorry, Virge." Roman sniffled, wiping away the wetness from his eyes. "I'm absolutely drab and not at all fab right now. This is _not_ how I thought this was going to go. Sorry if my words don't sound right. Nothing in my head is working as it should."

"You need to shut up," Virgil muttered. "And stop apologizing to me."

"S-Sorry," Roman stammered ironically. "It's just that-" Roman sucked in a breath. _No, it couldn't be true_. "That- do you really mean it? You- you like me?"

_It couldn't be true, _ _i_ _t couldn't be true_ _, i_ _t couldn't be true-_

"I said I _loved_ you, but whatever. Yeah, I- I do," Virgil said. He added half-sarcastically, "What, do you want to hear me say it again?"

Roman nodded._I do. I really do. I need to hear it. God, I need to hear it-_

"I love you, Roman," Virgil whispered softly.

Roman felt himself fall apart in Virgil's arms. He was shaking so much and his head hurt.

_Virgil loves me. He loves me. Virgil. Loves me._

Roman burst into another fit of sobs, curling into Virgil's hug even more.

"I love you, Virgil!" Roman cried and he gripped Virgil's hoodie until his knuckles turned white. "I love- I love you s-so much!"

"Deep breaths, Princey. What are you talking about?" Virgil said.

Roman did his best to breathe, trying to get words in between his sobs. "I've...been wanting to...confess to you...for...s-so long."

"...What?" Virgil's voice was barely above a whisper.

"I- I-" Roman sobbed again, barely being able to breathe to speak. "I love you. S-s-so much. I couldn't- I couldn't tell you. B-because I knew you'd- you'd hate me. I- I'm not enough f-for you. Y-you deserve...s-s-so much more than me."

"Okay, first of all, did you hear anything I said? I confessed first, you absolute _moron_," Virgil hissed. But, even so, he cuddled Roman. "Repeat that first thing you said."

"I-I...love you?"

"Yeah. That's it. Nothing else. No more of this 'I'm not good enough' bullshit." Virgil moved away and tenderly cupped Roman's cheeks in both of his hands. "Love is weird. You're perfect. So, you're going to stop doing this to yourself. And you're going to let me love you, dammit!"

Without another word, or a chance to speak, Virgil pressed his lips onto Roman's. Upon contact, the kiss was rough and fiery, but it soon turned tender and sweet. Roman felt emotions swell in his chest and spill out from his eyes. Virgil was kissing him. Virgil was _kissing _him! And the kiss was beautiful. Virgil held him closely, passionately pushing his lips into Roman's and Roman was just about melting.

Virgil pulled back, maybe too soon for Roman's taste, but he didn't care. Everything was perfect. He felt so happy.

"Got it?" Virgil huffed.

Roman buried his head into Virgil's chest. "Yeah."

Virgil kissed Roman's forehead and Roman could feel Virgil's warm smile. "You're my one and only, Roman."

"One and only." Roman hummed.

_You're his __O__nly_, Remus's words rang in Roman's head. And he thought of Deceit.

"Oh," Roman said as he felt his heart drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am shooketh, we made it to about 1500 hits and 200+ comments!! I just wanted to thank you all so much!!  
Also, if I were to write a sequel to this, what would you guys like to see? Roceit? Intrulogical? Fluff? Angst? Both? Comment below!!


	21. Another Fairytale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's Deceit angst, Patton angst, and Virgil angst. Lots of it.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Deceit being a deceitful boi, Emotional breakdowns, Off-screen non-consensual touching, and I GUESS maybe abusive Virgil (Mostly just to be safe)

Deceit felt frustrated. He didn't want to deal with Remus. He didn't want to play the part of Virgil. He didn't want to think about his conversation with Roman or the ache in his chest.

Deceit just wanted to be in his room with a warm cup of earl grey and some nineteen-somethings blues playing on his gramophone.

Of course, that was unrealistic. There was no way out except through. So, Deceit begrudgingly put on his Virgil disguise and materialized in the Sides' living room to do Remus's bidding.

It wasn't hard to find the paternal Side at all; Patton was seated on the couch, watching something on the television. And Logan was nowhere in sight. Upon his appearance, Patton smiled warmly and Deceit could feel a distinct emptiness fill his chest. _I don't want it to hurt. Not right now_.

"Heya, kiddo!" Patton greeted.

"Sup," Deceit grumbled.

"Whatchya up to?" Patton asked. He pat a spot next to him on the couch. "Do you want to talk about something?"

Deceit shuffled over to the couch and plopped there. "Maybe. Where's Logan?"

"He's in his room," Patton said. "He wanted to pick out a book to read while we cuddle. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. I don't know." Deceit paused and then sighed. "I..._I_ have a lot of things on my mind."

Patton had a thoughtful look as he studied Deceit. Carefully, he said, "Would it help if we talked about it?"

Deceit blinked. "It?"

"Yeah." Patton was hesitant. "...Roman."

"Oh."

Just the thought of Roman made the pain blossom in his chest and made him feel emptier. It was becoming harder to ignore. Deceit didn't understand why his empathy was doing this to him.

So many things were wrong.

He shouldn't have cared.

He shouldn't have cared about Roman.

But he did. And it wouldn't stop hurting him.

What was really frustrating was the fact that he _knew_ Roman had a crush on Virgil. How foolish of him to think his own crush was significant in the slightest. The was no way Roman would love him. He was already so _happy_ with Virgil.

That was all fine. Really. Deceit would be fine, he _had_ to be fine.

Not that telling himself that would make the pain go away.

His heart ached so much every time his thoughts turned to Roman. Roman had been so nice to him. Roman actually _cared_ for him. And his hands were so gentle. And his expression was so kind. Deceit cherished him so much.

His empathy was cruel. He had loved a prince from another fairytale. And nothing he could do would ease the fall once he let Roman go.

"Kiddo?"

Patton was shaking him, but it didn't register so much in Deceit's head.

"What's wrong, kiddo? Why are you crying? Did I upset you? I'm sorry-"

Crying? Deceit brought a hand to his eyes, feeling the dampness dance on his fingertips. Oh.

"No," Deceit said hollowly. "No, I. I was just thinking about. Something."

"Deep breaths, kiddo." Patton eyes were on him. His eyes were so warm- oh, why did it have to hurt so much? "You're okay, kiddo. Just listen to me, okay? Deep breaths."

Deceit managed one.

"Okay, okay, good. There you go." Patton's hand was on his back, tracing soothing circles in between his shoulder blades. "It's alright, kiddo. You just had an emotional breakdown, that's all. You're okay, I promise."

Patton was hugging him. Deceit leaned into the hug, allowing himself to sob softly into Patton's shoulder. Patton combed his hair with his fingers.

"..._Virgil_," Patton said slowly. "Do you want...to talk about it?" Patton paused. "Did something happen?"

"_No_. Nothing happened. Everything is fine," Deceit said. He wasn't sure if he was acting Virgil anymore.

Patton sighed and didn't say anything for a long time. Then, he said, "I'm sorry, kiddo. I- I know it's hard. Talking about emotions can hurt." Patton went quiet again. Then he said slowly and softly, "I know you lie to protect yourself, but trust me when I say that dealing with your emotions will bring you more peace than if you continue to force them away."

Deceit pulled away, his eyes wide and his blood cold.

"...What?"

Patton inhaled shakily. "I know you're not Vir-"

Just then, there was a glass-shattering shriek and Logan came stumbling to the living room. He looked in complete disarray, his glasses skewed on his face and his tie loose around his neck. Patton jumped to his feet in panic.

"Logan!"

"Patton-"

Remus flew into the room, singing. "Logan!"

Deceit jumped to his feet. "Remus, enough!"

Remus frowned and glared at Deceit, but stilled at Deceit's request. Logan unsteadily got to his feet with the help of Patton. He was red in the face with anger and Deceit could tell he was trying his best to contain it.

"Do not ever touch me without my permission." Logan seethed. "This is the second time you've done this and I will _not_ allow it to continue. _Do I make myself clear_?"

Remus didn't so much as flinch and shrugged his shoulders casually. "I'll do what I want, Logan. Besides, I already told you what I want from you." His eyes grew dark and his licked his lips. "Nothing can get in the way of my sexual desire for you, you know that."

"But you _cannot_ do that to people without their explicit consent." Logan growled. "So I warn you again, do not touch me."

Deceit slipped in between the space between Remus and Logan. "Remus, don't you think it's time for you to leave?"

Remus glared poisonously. "I'm sure you'd want that, wouldn't you, _Virgil_?"

"Please, Remus," Patton said, "Leave- leave _Virgil_ alone."

"_What is going on here_?!" a voice roared.

Deceit jumped, twisting around to see Virgil, the actual Virgil, standing by the stairs. The look in his eyes was of nothing but hatred and ice. It took Deceit everything he had not to crumble into pieces.

"_Deceit_."

Deceit flinched. The tone bit him as venomously as it sounded.

"No, wait, Virgil," Patton said pleadingly, "He- he wasn't doing anything. He was just-"

"_Patton, I__ don't care what he was doing_." Virgil hissed. To Deceit, he growled, "_Go away. Go away and don't come back!_"

Deceit thought about how to respond—in lie or not—but his mind felt momentarily broken and he kept on drawing blanks in the amidst of his panic. Not knowing what else to do, Deceit grabbed Remus by the wrist and sunk out to escape before the situation escalated.

"Wait!" he heard Patton shout after him.

The saddened look on Patton's face was the last thing Deceit caught before he was gone.


	22. Ad Hominem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil pretty much flips out, Patton cries, and Logan is as calm as ever.
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Again, JUST IN CASE, Maybe abusive Virgil and Language (because of Virgil, too)

"I can't _believe_ you!"

Virgil was on the verge of tears, but the anger in his eyes was clear.

"I- I wasn't trying to hurt you," Patton said. "I'm sorry, Virgil, I-"

Virgil combed his hair back, stressed. "No, no, no. I don't like this at all. This is bad."

"It may be wise for you to calm a bit," Logan said, adjusting his glasses, "And perhaps you could let Patton explain his side of the story."

"Logan, he was with _Deceit_. Doesn't that concern you?!" Virgil asked.

"It does," Logan said, "But I believe you might be letting your anxiety cloud your judgment. Surely, this is one big misunderstanding."

"_Misunderstanding?_"

"Yes. It seemed to me that Deceit didn't have the intent of harming Patton. Might I even suggest he was disguised as you in order to achieve some sort of casual setting with Patton. Perhaps he simply wanted to talk."

"Simply wanted to talk," Virgil choked out in between incredulous laughs. "Logan, he's a _liar_. Of _course_ he would make it look like he's completely innocent!"

"I understand that. But I also think you're too stubborn to accept the fact that Deceit can be just as empathetic as the rest of us."

"I had always known it was him." Patton spoke meekly. He rubbed his elbow. "He really just wanted to talk, Virgil. He wasn't trying to get me to do anything. He-" Patton inhaled. "He's hurting, Virgil. I could tell. And I don't know exactly why, but I think it has something to do with..."

"_With__?_"

"With Roman." Patton sighed.

"_Roman_? Wha- what business does Deceit have with _Roman_?" Virgil's voice sounded defensive.

Patton shrunk. "I mean..." he mumbled, "I don't think I should tell you."

"No, I think you should."

"It's not for me to say," Patton said. He paused. "I don't want to upset you, Virgil, but I think you should talk to Roman about it."

Virgil's eyes widened. "You think Roman knows something about this?"

"I don't know," Patton said. He dropped his head, his eyes watering. "I saw how broken he was, Virgil. I just wish there was something I could do to help him."

"Oh, for god's fucking sake," Virgil muttered under his breath. "Don't you see? This is exactly what he wants! He's playing on your empathy!"

"No, Virgil, you're wrong!" Patton insisted tearfully.

"I am not!" Virgil exclaimed. "You don't know-" Virgil inhaled sharply, tears rolling down his cheeks. "You don't know him like I did! He _lies_ and he _hurts_ and he never thinks about _anyone_ but himself." Virgil put both hands on his chest, shaking and sobbing. "He hurt me, Patton. He made me think I was worth something to him. He made me think he cared for me. And I will never forgive myself if I let him hurt any of you."

"We don't discount your experience, Virgil," Logan said softly, "But it is important to keep the past in the past. People change, even figments like us, and Deceit is no exception." Logan put a hand on Virgil's shuddering shoulder. "I'm sorry you were hurt, Virgil. But please understand that part of healing is letting it go."

"Easy- easy for you to say." Virgil sniffled.

"It is," Logan said, "Both in a literal and figurative sense."

"I'm sorry, Virgil," Patton said, tears finally escaping his eyes.

"Whatever." Virgil did not, however, sound 'whatever.' He messily wiped the tears from his face. "I need to- I need to talk to Roman."

Patton grabbed the cuff of Virgil's sleeve. "Wait. Please promise me you'll try to forgive him. Please, Virgil."

Virgil shook his head. "Won't promise. Probably won't even try." Virgil paused, exhaling. "But I'll...I'll think about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, do you guys have any oneshot requests? I can pretty much write anything other than RemRom, Romantic Moxiety, and smut/lemons. But, other than that, request anything you want! I'll do angst, whump, fluff, sexual content, platonic moments, family, honestly anything goes. All oneshots will be about 500-1000 words. So, yeah, request away, if you want, in the comments! :)


	23. I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With a chapter title like that, you know that things are, in fact, not fine.

Deceit felt blurry and numb. He could faintly feel Remus to his side, holding him up as he stumbled into his room and collapsed on his sofa. He could faintly remember tears leaving a cold trail down his cheeks. He could faintly hear Remus say something important, but it sounded muffled. Remus left.

Deceit curled up into a ball. Everything ached. Everything was not okay. He forgot how to breathe. He forgot how to think. He forgot how to lie to himself to make everything okay again.

His mind was flip-flopping between thoughts of Roman and of Virgil, yet neither brought relief, but instead a pain in his chest that grew and pulsated through the rest of him.

_Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop_.

"Deceit?" spoke Roman's voice.

_No, go away, go away, go away. __Don't see me like this. I'm fine_.

Roman was beside him, both of his hands around his shoulders. He was talking, panicked, but Deceit couldn't make out the words. Oh, god, he still couldn't breathe.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry_. To whom he was apologizing to, Deceit didn't know.

Through his tears, the world was getting dark.

The pain was becoming dull. He felt cold.

Deceit blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short! The next chapter hopefully makes up for it!


	24. Bad Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Look me in the eyes, tell me what you see, perfect paradise, tearing at the seams...
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> (Maybe) Abusive Virgil (really, he's just freaking out), and Language (Also Virgil).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!
> 
> We're so close to the end!!

He remembered being cold. He was always so cold. That was the price of being so callous and reclusive. It was always so cold.

Around him, a murmuring voice sung to him. Two strong arms were wrapped around him. Against his ear, he could hear a heartbeat, thumping gently within its cage of bone. Deceit could listen to that sound and never get tired of it.

It was blissful. It was...warm.

But there was a feeling of unease that sat heavy in the back of his mind, overshadowing everything nice. Memories of Virgil and Roman flooded back to him like water through a broken dam.

It had been too much. Virgil's ice and fire reminded him too much of his repressed memories and brought back flashbacks Deceit preferred not to experience. Virgil was right to despise him so vehemently. But if only he could let Virgil go.

And Roman...

Thinking about the prince brought a pain so significant, it began to hurt to breathe. Like a hand curled around his throat and squeezed. Deceit wished he never fell in love. Deceit wished he could let Roman go, too.

Then all the pain would go away until it was nothing but cold. And Deceit could live with that.

Deceit's eyes fluttered open. His vision was blurry and unfocused, but he could make out a face staring back at him. Deceit took a moment to observe this pleasant visage. His amber eyes, his rosy lips, his flushed skin. Deceit's throat closed up on him when he realized. It was Roman.

"Oh. _Oh_," Roman sounded so relieved. He was shaking, Deceit noticed. "You're awake. You're _awake_. I was so worried."

Roman was always so nice to him. Why was Roman always so nice to him?

"You always are." Deceit managed to say. He noticed his voice sounded hoarse and much too emotional for his own taste.

Roman laughed, but it was a sad one, perhaps even closer to a sob than a laugh. It broke Deceit's heart.

"I'm sorry, Deceit," Roman said. His body shook harder than before. "I'm so sorry."

A broken cry came from Roman and tears were starting to run down his cheeks. Ice bloomed where each tear spilled onto Deceit's cheeks. Roman held Deceit tighter against his chest.

"I didn't know- but I should've known. I am so incredibly dense," Roman said, managing to speak through his sobbing. "I didn't know and I made you suffer through it all."

It felt like a fever dream. Deceit could barely understand what was happening, but he knew he didn't like seeing Roman like this. So disheveled and upset. Weeping because of _him_.

"Remus- Remus told me." Roman sobbed. "He told me- he said I was your Only. I didn't- I didn't understand it. But now I know. Oh, Deceit, please forgive me. I hate myself for being the cause of your agony."

"Roman." Deceit paused, considering his next words carefully. "You only ever bring my heart happiness." A happiness that hurt.

Roman sobbed harder. "I didn't know."

"Enough. It's fine," Deceit said. He brought his gloved hand to Roman's cheek, tenderly brushing the tears away from his lashes. "You're fine. You're going to be fine."

Roman smiled a sad smile, leaning into Deceit's palm. "I didn't know you loved me."

Deceit froze.

"Oh." Deceit heard himself say.

Roman's smile faded, and he looked pale and anxious. His grip was tight around Deceit as if he was afraid Deceit would slip out of his arms.

Even so, Deceit felt himself slipping.

_No, no, no. Stay composed_.

Roman knew.

_Stay. Composed_.

Oh, no, Roman knew.

_Roman was never supposed to know_.

It was supposed to be a secret. It was Deceit's secret. Because Deceit was never supposed to love Roman in the first place.

But now that Roman knew, there was no secret, no lie, to keep. But he was _Deceit_. He was going to try.

Putting on a faux confident smile, Deceit said, "Oh, Roman, I am not in love with you."

Roman gave him a pitying look.

"But, my dearest, you're crying," Roman said.

Roman's fingers danced on his cheeks, brushing away the tears. A gentle sob escaped Deceit's lips and he choked out, "_I'm not in love with you_."

Roman leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss onto Deceit's forehead. "You can't lie to me anymore, Deceit." He didn't let go of Deceit. "I'm sorry. I truly am."

Deceit turned his face into Roman's garments.

_I'm not upset. I'm not upset. I'm fine, I'm fine. Really_.

_Lie, lie, lie, lie._

Deceit sobbed messily into Roman's chest as Roman held a comforting hand on his back. What did he do to deserve such unconditional comfort from Roman? Why was Roman so nice to him? None of it made sense, his feelings made no sense. Deceit wished it could all make sense. Why did his chest always hurt? Why, why, why, why.

"I have- done nothing- but hurt and lied to you- and you- you-" Deceit wept. "You still cherish me like- like a friend."

"It's alright, Deceit," Roman said softly. "I'm here. I'm here for you."

"You- don't understand!" Deceit cried. "I lied- to you! I- manipulated you- used you- all because- because I wanted to be accepted. I- I never thought of you- as a friend- just a- a tool. I thought-" Deceit inhaled sharply, raggedly. "I thought if- I could convince you- that I was your friend- that the Others- weren't good enough for you- you could convince them- that I wasn't- I wasn't-" Deceit sobbed. "A villain."

Roman hugged him tighter.

"Why- why won't you _hate_ _me_, Roman? At least show me mercy and make the pain go away. _Why won't you hate me_?"

"Because you are my friend," Roman said, "And your friendship means so much more to me than the wrongs you say you've committed."

"Stop lying!" Deceit lightly pounded his fists into Roman's chest. "Stop...lying..."

Roman lifted Deceit by the chin. His amber eyes were nothing but sincere. "I'm not lying. You would know that."

"I know." Deceit repeated, barely coherent. "I know."

He curled up into Roman as Roman hugged him. Deceit kept his ear against Roman's chest, listening to his heart beat and finding comfort in that. It was such a beautiful sound. It made Roman feel so close to him. Deceit really could listen to it forever.

God, Roman meant so much to him. So much to him it hurt. But in a good way.

_Roman doesn't hate me. Roman doesn't think I'm a villain. I'm his friend_.

It hurt in a good way.

Deceit closed his eyes and took in several deep breaths. Roman did the same. Simply being in Roman's hold, enveloped in his warmth, was beginning to lull Deceit into a restful sleep—one he desperately needed. Yes, he could stay in Roman's arms for the rest of eternity and be content.

But the short moment of serenity didn't last long.

"..._Roman_?"

Deceit's eyes snapped open and his body went rigid. He didn't have to look to know the intruding voice belonged to Virgil. Subconsciously, Deceit's grip on Roman tightened. Roman shushed him softly.

"Virgil, my sweet," Roman said, "Please allow me to explain."

"Oh, _oh_, I can't fucking _believe _this!"

Deceit glanced back to where Virgil was pacing. His hands were gripping his hair and he was quite obviously stressed.

"Virgil, please," Roman said, his voice still calm. "Let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain! He tricked you into thinking he's a better person and you _believed_ him. Now you're going to tell me I'm wrong about him. That he suddenly _changed_." Virgil snarled. "You don't know what I know, Roman! I know what kind of...two-faced _snake_ he is!"

"Virgil, I know you're only saying that because you're stressed about this," Roman said. "But please listen to me. He already explained to me that he lied to me."

"_And you still let him hang around_?"

"I don't blame him for any of it," Roman said, earnestly. And Deceit had to hold back a sob. Roman caressed Deceit's shoulder and paused before saying, "He's not simply a liar, Virgil. He cares for us. He only wants to protect us. But he also wants us to realize his importance. That's all he was trying to do. He...he needs us, Virgil."

Virgil stood still, a pout on his lips and tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

"But then why..." Virgil said, obviously putting in effort to keep his voice from breaking. "Why did you do it? Why did you do it to me?"

It took a moment, but Deceit realized he wasn't addressing Roman anymore. Virgil crumbled slowly to the floor, his head in his hands.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth? Why did you have to lie?" Virgil asked. "Why did pretend to be my friend? Why did you pretend to care about me?" Virgil hugged himself. "Why did you make it hurt for me, too?"

Deceit wanted to say something, anything, to comfort Virgil, but he could not speak. Virgil sat there, a shaking mess of sadness, and Deceit could only watch. Virgil was hurting, just as much as he was. And Deceit knew nothing he could do would make it better.

"I'm sorry, Virgil," Deceit said. "I'm...so sorry. Really."

"You're lying." Virgil hissed. "You're lying."

"I know you think that I am. You have every right to," Deceit said. Deceit took in several unsteady breaths to regain part of his composure. He continued, speaking in a somewhat broken voice, "But I mean it, Virgil. I never should have done that to you. And you really were my friend. Perhaps not at first, but you were. I did care for you. I still do. I- I...I _know_ how much it hurts. I'm sorry, Virgil."

Virgil covered his mouth with his hands, sobbing gently.

"Virgil, my sweet, please come here," Roman said.

Virgil got to his feet, shuffling unsteadily before collapsing right back on the floor beside Roman. Roman wrapped an arm around Virgil's shoulders, keeping him close and pressing a kiss in his disheveled hair. Virgil leaned into Roman's shoulder, his eyes closed and breathing growing more steady. Roman kissed him again.

"Everything will be alright." Roman murmured.

"My anxiety says you're wrong and also an idiot," Virgil said.

"I agree with Virgil." Deceit mumbled.

The three of them were silent for a moment.

"Hey," Virgil said. He hesitantly nudged Deceit's elbow. "Deceit, look, I-" Virgil sucked in a breath. "Oh, geez, I'm not cut out for this shit. Fuck." Virgil huffed. "Look, I'm sorry. Sorry for- shit. Getting emotional here." Virgil wiped his eyes. He groaned in frustration. "Sorry for...a lot of things. I mean, you deserved a lot of it. It fucking hurt, you know. But, like, sorry."

Deceit blinked.

"Stop looking at me like that." Virgil grumbled. "Look, just don't- don't think everything's all fine and dandy now. I'm still fucking pissed at you, okay? I'm sorry."

Deceit couldn't restrain the small smile that spread on his lips, no matter how hard he tried. He buried his face into Roman's garments again, definitely _not_ crying.

_Virgil__ wasn't lying_.


	25. Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit comes to terms, even if it hurts...

Deceit much preferred the warmth over the cold. He much preferred the company of friends over loneliness. He much preferred being loved over being the villain. Deceit found that he, in fact, much preferred feeling than not. Even if it hurt.

It hurt to heal with Virgil. It was difficult to reopen the wounds of the past, but the chance to heal again was worth everything to Deceit. He cared for Virgil more than he could fathom. And while Virgil insisted he still hated him, he forgot Deceit could see through his lies. It was the truth that Virgil didn't trust him yet, but that was something Deceit was willing to earn.

It hurt to be around Roman, too. Roman always treated him gently. His words and touches were still so tender and warm in a way that brought flutters to Deceit's stomach. The pain of unrequited love constantly lingered in his chest, but it was something Deceit came to cherish. He wasn't willing to let go. Not yet, perhaps not ever.

But Deceit was happy that way. For once in his life, his empathy didn't feel so much like a curse. It felt beautiful. Even the pain, he regarded with beauty.

He didn't mind feeling. Even if it hurt.

Really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more or less the official ending of the story...
> 
> BUT fear not, for there are still two more chapters worth of epilogue!! :D


	26. Ah, It's Tea Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After everything, Remus feels ignored.
> 
> Trigger warnings (Sheesh, Remus):
> 
> Asphyxiation mention, Vomit mention, Disturbing imagery, Vague descriptions of kidnapping, Implied vague description of non-con (I guess), and Language.

Remus kept his eyes fixed on Deceit. He studied Deceit's every move.

Deceit never once glanced at him. Remus hated it. It was like torture. As if ruining his chances with Logan wasn't enough. As if replacing him with Virgil wasn't enough. As if giving his attention to Roman wasn't enough. Remus's hand twitched.

He felt something bubble inside him. It was a particular kind of frustration, like he wanted to strangle the life out of Deceit's pretty eyes, but didn't at the same time. Instead, he sat there and seethed. Sat there and watched as Deceit made a cake.

A stupid cake. It made Remus all itchy on the inside.

For the Others. Because the Others mattered more now.

Or, maybe not. Maybe he was was reaching into the drawers, looking for a vial of poison- no, just a spatula. He mixed the cake batter with it, humming and smiling. It was such a domestic scene, one that made vomit spill into Remus's mouth. He swallowed it down.

Maybe, when Deceit turned away, he could add maggots and toenails. Or something with more taste, like vomit and blood. Would that work in the place of butter and eggs, Remus wondered.

Maybe not. Poohie.

"How _typical_ of you to be so silent, Remus," Deceit said, finally breaking the silence.

Remus narrowed his eyes. "I was thinking about something."

Deceit studied him for a second, Remus getting a little jumpy under his stare. It felt like tiny little bugs crawling all over his skin. Deceit said slowly, his undertone threatening, "I know what you're thinking, so don't you dare add your 'creative flair' to this recipe. I need this cake to be _edible_, you know."

Remus snorted humorlessly. "Everything is edible if you're brave enough."

Deceit's eyes stayed on Remus for a second, then flitted back to the bowl caressed in one of his hands.

"Or idiotic enough," Deceit muttered under his breath. He folded some powdered cocoa into the batter. "Tell me what's on your mind, Remus. You know it's no good to repress your thoughts."

Remus smirked, but it was anything but warm. His eyes lacked any sort of light. "I was thinking that...now that you have what you want, you're going to leave me behind like I mean nothing. Like what we had wasn't special." Remus licked his lips. "Even though I was always there for you."

Deceit smiled tightly. "As long as I helped you with Logan."

"Oh, whatever." Remus sunk down, pouting. "The thing is, now _I'll_ be all alone. While _you_ spend time with your new _family_ and _Roman_."

"Remus." Deceit sighed. "Patton said it was fine for you to tag along."

"He doesn't even like me. He's obviously lying."

"He wasn't," Deceit said curtly. He sighed again, this time in frustration. "Okay, true, you unsettle him, but he still considers you part of the Fam-ily."

"Ew, actually. That's cute." Remus paused. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why does he consider me part of his Fam-ily?"

Deceit's lips pursed, forming a completely straight line. For a moment, he stood completely still, as unreadable as a statue made of marble. That was one of Deceit's skills: being able to dictate his own expression so well, it was incredibly difficult to tell what exactly was going on in his pretty little head.

But not impossible—Deceit had his ticks, his mannerisms. Remus, having lived under Deceit's shroud for all of his life up until recently, knew. He knew how Deceit's serpentine face cocked slightly forward, how his eye with its pupil thin as a needle gleamed, every time he lied.

After a moment of consideration, Deceit spoke, "Because I think he understands. How it feels to be left out. Unloved."

"Oh?" Remus leaned in a little closer, pushing. "But that's not the whole truth."

Deceit's mismatched eyes caught his, curious. "And what makes you say that?"

"You expect me to believe Patton considers me part of the Fam-ily out of pity?" Remus snorted. "As if! He's scared of me, especially with what I can do to Logan."

_Use him, fuck him, lock him away because he's mine, he's mine, and only I get to make him scream_\- Focus, Remus told himself, focus.

"So maybe he didn't," Deceit said calmly, "At least not without some convincing." Deceit's eyes flicked to him briefly, gleaming. "As you know, I am quite persuasive."

Remus's brow cocked and he grinned. "You convinced Patton, _Morality_, to tolerate me?"

Deceit had a rare, soft smile on his lips. He returned to mixing the bowl of brown batter, not bothering to look up when he asked, "Do you want to help me with the cake, Remus? I'm certain you're more adept at decorating than I am."

Remus blinked. "You would like that? Really?"

Deceit chuckled. "As long as you use proper frosting, yes."

Remus grinned from ear to ear—literally, unfortunately for anyone but Remus. Deceit merely scoff-laughed when he caught glimpse of Remus in the corner of his eye.

"I'd like that a lot," Remus said, "Thank you...Deceit."

Deceit said nothing else, but resumed his soft humming, smiling as he stirred the cake batter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!
> 
> One More Chapter?!?!
> 
> !!!


	27. Fam-ily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things turn out alright in the end...
> 
> Trigger warnings:
> 
> Very mild sexual Content, Possibly disturbing medical content, and Language.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH THIS IS IT!! The final chapter to this story!! Everything so far has been leading up to this conclusion, and honestly, I'm a little sad that it must come to and end!! I hope this chapter delivers a satisfying end, the one you've all been waiting for, to 'Really.'

Fashionably late was a good excuse for saving face.

But Deceit hadn't meant to be late. He hadn't expected Remus to take two full hours meticulously decorating a cake. He hadn't expected it would take so long to convince Remus that, no, a g-string was not suitable attire for this occasion. He hadn't expected Remus to freak out at the mention of a hairbrush, thus beginning an impromptu game of hide and seek.

But, Deceit considered, being fashionably late was classy. And easier than having to explain his tardiness.

So finally, after finding Remus, Remus who was purposefully disheveling his hair to annoy Deceit, Deceit materialized in the Sides' living room.

"Oh! Deceit! And Remus! You're finally here!" Patton exclaimed from the kitchen.

"Salutations!" came another greeting from the kitchen.

Virgil, seated on the couch, looked up from his phone and smiled warmly upon seeing the two.

"Hey, guys." Virgil said,

"Hello, Virgil."

"Hey, Virgie!"

Virgil stood up and shuffled awkwardly to Deceit, his shoulders hunched and a contemplative nervous grimace on his face. Deceit couldn't exactly tell what Virgil was trying to do, but once Virgil hesitantly extended his arms outward, Deceit understood what was going on.

A hug.

Virgil was offering him a hug.

Deceit stood dumbly for a moment, staring at Virgil's open arms as a tingle of warmth washed over his chest. Virgil was offering him a hug.

Deceit accepted said hug, falling into Virgil's hold. He held Virgil, too, and rested his head on Virgil's shoulder, taking in the familiar smell of bergamot, citrus, and lavender. Deceit couldn't remember the last time he had hugged Virgil. Deceit had almost forgotten how comforting it was to be in Virgil's arms—sure, it was nothing like Patton's world-famous hugs, but its familiarity left Deceit feeling warm and nostalgic.

Virgil pulled away and so did Deceit. Virgil was smiling, as if to confirm hugging Deceit had been a good idea after all.

"My turn!" Remus exclaimed beside Deceit.

Virgil's eyes flitted quickly to Remus, shooting him a look of disgust. "Hell, no. I am not hugging you, stinky trash man."

Remus merely laughed at that, his cackle sharp and very unlike Roman's. "Oh, I do _love_ you, Emo!"

Virgil shrugged and shoved his hands into his sweater pockets. "Whatever. Hey, Patton!"

"Yeah, kiddo?"

"Do you need any help?"

"Nope! It's almost done! Oh, but can you please set the table?"

"It's '_may_ you please set the table.'" Deceit heard Logan mutter under his breath.

"Sure thing, Padre," Virgil said.

With one last smile in Deceit's direction, Virgil stalked off to set the table. Deceit trailed behind, deciding the kitchen was the best place to settle the cake in his hands. He put it on the counter.

And he was thankful he did, because in the next moment, two strong arms wrapped around him and twirled him around. Deceit, of course, did _not_ shriek in surprise.

"Hello, there, my fairest friend!" Roman's boisterous voice reached his ears.

Deceit could feel his face flush hotly and he pounded against the arms around his midriff. "Put me down, you- you foolish prince!" With the arms around his chest, Deceit hoped Roman couldn't feel how hard his heart was beating.

Roman let out a hearty laugh, but relented and set Deceit back on his feet. Deceit snapped around, putting on a glare to mask his fluster. Blush, however, was not something so easily concealable.

"My apologies," Roman said, "I'm just happy to see you. It's been a while."

"I suppose it has," Deceit said. His eyes dropped down and he brushed down his caplet. No amount of smoothing down his garbs would quell his heart. Nervously, he peek up, his heart thudding harder against his ribcage, almost to the point of hurting. Roman's face was so beautiful. "It's nice to see you, too, Roman."

Roman beamed and Deceit's chest tightened, but he smiled, too.

At that moment, Logan and Patton emerged from the kitchen, both holding prepared foods and heading to the table.

"Come eat! Dinner is ready- oh, Deceit!"

"Hm? Yes?"

"Thank you for making the cake," Patton said, genuinely, "It's really pretty!"

"Oh, well, thank you," Deceit said while he fumbled with his gloved hands. "But, Remus was the one who decorated it."

"Oh?" Patton's eyes darted to where Remus was standing—completely still, lost in hollow thought as he stared at Logan. "Well, I'll be sure to thank him for it later." Though Patton smiled, Deceit could see it was hesitant.

"Remus." Logan called once he put the salad bowl on the table.

Remus jostled out of his statuesque positioning, blush tinting the tips of his cheeks with a rosy color.

"Y-yeah, Logan?"

"Will you be joining us?"

Remus nodded. "If, uh, that's, uh, alright."

"Well, you _were_ invited," Roman said. He walked over to his mirror image—his brother—and hugged him tightly. Remus hugged back, smiling. "Of course it's alright."

"Okay," Remus said.

"Besides..." Logan cleared his throat, effectively gaining Remus's attention. "I understand that holding a grudge against you would be futile. You follow such extreme antics because it is who you are, and I cannot condemn you for that. What I mean to say is, we do not hate you, Remus, at least I do not. It's alright for you to spend time with us."

"Oh." Remus had a look of pleasant surprise on his face and even his eyes were a little wet with tears. "Well, that didn't just make my cold dead heart lurch in my chest like an overactive dickroach."

Logan scrunched his eyebrows together. "I find myself alarmed that you considered your heart cold and dead."

"It's a saying, Specs," Remus said, snorting, "A heart is actually warm and it dances when you hold it."

"Um, alright," Logan said. Adjusting his glasses and blushing a bit, Logan said, "Is it wrong that I find myself mildly interested in your endeavors studying the human heart?"

"Not at all- Oh, but it wasn't for study," Remus said, "It was for fun."

"Well, that's just..." Patton said, trying to mask the look of distaste on his face.

"You can say morbid, Pat-Pat," Remus assured with a grin. Then, he looked to the rest, his arms extended outward. "Is nobody going to acknowledge that I said 'dickroach' instead of 'cockroach?'"

Patton cleared his throat loudly, in a true dad-like fashion, enough to overcome Remus's pitchy voice. "Anyway, let's all come to the table. Dinner is ready and it's not going to eat itself!"

Remus shouting— "But what if it could!?"—was drowned out whilst everyone began to clamor around the table, taking their seats.

Deceit took his place at the table, hugged between Patton and Roman. Completely unintentionally, of course. It wasn't like Deceit _enjoy__ed_ the torture of sitting by his crush, but oh well. Nothing to be done about it now.

Deceit glanced around, savoring the moment like indulging in fine wine. There was something so distinctly comforting, in the same way Deceit imagined the holidays as warm and cozy, and feeling like family. It was something Deceit figured he could get used to. It was certainly better than, metaphorically, spending the holidays alone.

Deceit glanced briefly to all the Sides. Logan and Remus were talking. Patton was serving the dishes. Virgil was doing the same as he was—staring and smiling at the scene. And Roman, well. Roman was looking at Deceit, with the softest, most fondest smile formed on his lips. Upon realizing that Roman was staring at _him_, Deceit could feel his entire face grow red. Well, half of it, at least.

A foreign hand looped around Deceit's underneath the table, well concealed by the draping tablecloth. Roman's smile grew, his eyes capturing all the stars in the galaxy and simultaneously making them explode in his eyes like fireworks.

Deceit couldn't stop smiling, even as his cheeks hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, A MILLION thank yous to everyone who have read, reviewed, kudos, bookmarked, subscribed, and shown love for this story! I cannot stress enough how happy, flattered, and humbled I am receiving all of you guys' comments and the love you guys shared with me. Thank you, thank you, thank you! This experience has been wonderful and it couldn't have been possible without you!
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3<3<3
> 
> EDIT: I JUST WANTED TO SAY, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR REACHING 200 KUDOS, NEARLY 400 COMMENTS AND 2000+ HITS!! IT REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME!!


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